199
Add a comment
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Create my account Sign in
Top comments
By  bogwandis  |  0

The most she could do is see if her fiance could deploy at a later time. While not likely, the military isn't completely heartless when it comes to these things. Besides, there is no way either of them could've known during the wedding planning that he would be deployed that day. Don't you guys think they would've changed the date if they knew this earlier? If her fiance can't work something out, then she is out of luck. Depending on how close it is to the wedding, it's really difficult to find a day where everyone and everything would work out like you wanted. OP, I"m sorry that this is happening to you. I'm a military wife as well, and I couldn't imagine how frustrating and heartbreaking this is. Let the disrespectful comments begin :)

Comments
Reply
  persianjr1  |  7

Thats so sad. i have no idea how the military opperates but if he is going willingly, which i havent heard of any drafting yet then im sure he is, he should love you enough to not go or i hope you can change your wedding date!! Best of Wishes and congrats on getting maried :D

Reply
  RedPillSucks  |  30

I don't think he has a choice about going. If he stays for the wedding he'd probably be court marshaled for desertion. Aren't the deployment dates usually known many months in advance?

Reply
  quacky123  |  0

You can get anywhere from several months to only 24 hours notice. My friends husband was just given 6 days notice that he would be TAD to the ship for 3 months. You don't always get advanced notice. In my husbands job he is likely to only get at most a weeks notice because of his classification. It's not a perfect system but it works the way it does for a reason. In the military you have to be flexible and never put a date on anything. Things happen when they happen.

Reply
  Insanitytest  |  1

#61, deployment is not a choice. You can volunteer for deployments, but if you're already enlisted and they tell you you're going to be deployed, you don't have a choice in the matter. And yes, you usually get 4 months notice about, if not more, but sometimes circumstances pop that make it so you get very little notice. I've seen it happen in my squadron that someone gets injured and was supposed to deploy, so the squadron has to have someone else go and they can get even as short as 24 hours notice.

Reply
  mamamiaaa_fml  |  12

aww I hope there's enough time to rearrange it but if there isn't and you both feel strongly that you want to do it before he's deployed then you can: 1. call close family and friends only and a small ceremony at home or wherever and save the big stuff for later 2. elope this is between you and him and if you just don't have time then do it for yourselves and explain the situation to family and friends I think they'll understand and have a bigger ceremony/reception/party when he comes back Hope he comes home safe!

By  DahkLohd  |  4

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply
  DahkLohd  |  4

Technically, I died in July 2007. But you didn't know about the secret 7th horcrux. So I'm back, hiding in a cave in Afghanistan for the time being.

Reply
  playhouse  |  0

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

By  AlexWolfx  |  0

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply
  sloppyflow  |  1

first. wedding are usually planned few months in advance. and you only get the deployment notice weeks or 1 month before u have to leave. second, she may NEVER see her fiancé ever again! if you know what I meant. third, you can't just change the date of wedding. how are you gonna inform friends or relatives you have invited that the date had changed or cancelled? and we all know most thing spent on wedding are non refundable. so, this to me. is to FML of the year.

Reply

First off- The military doesnt tend to do quick deployment notices anymore. You will always have a generous notice about a deployment unless you are in a quick response force (Delta, Seals, Ranger) I knew about my deployment in March and we left in September. My husband knew in May and he deployed in November. You always have at least 90 days notice in the current military. This isnt an FMLife because you knew what you were getting into. The military deploys, if you cant handle this than you probably shouldnt marry into the military. It gets worse- dont worry.

Reply
  rldostie  |  19

The military DOES still do quick deployments. I was Military Intelligence and my unit knew we might deploy, but with no real word of going until a week before. So yeah, this can happen and yeah, it is the FML of the month, at least.

Reply
  runnamuk  |  6

#71 What would your solution be? Don't get married? Its an FML because the deployment date is the day they planned to get married. That does not mean that they were not aware of what could happen when they planned their wedding, just that it sucks that he is being deployed when he is. sucks for the OP, truly a FML.

Reply
  Insanitytest  |  1

71, yes the military does still do quick deployments! I know they try to give 90+ days notice, but if the person that originally was supposed to deploy is injured or otherwise unable to go, someone has to take his or her place! That means that you can still get as little as 24 hours notice.

Reply

Solution? Get over it and either do a JP wedding or do a smaller ceremony another day. My husband left 3 weeks after our wedding, which was postponed and changed 2 times because I deployed, then he was told he was deploying back in January which didn't. So yes- I know that things happen but if you are going to marry into the military then you need to realize that you cannot always plan things out. Women not understanding that is why the divorce and infidelity rate is so high.

Reply

You all deserve it working for a government who lies to you and doesn't give two shits about whether you live or die btw I live in America and love the country I just hate the government and the ignorant people who believe the government

Reply
  Brandi_Faith  |  31

#99- I'm sorry that you had to move your wedding date twice and that he left a week after. but during any of those ocassions you could have written it as an FML and we all would have agreed and sympathized with you. So as much as she knew what could happen when she got involved with a military man it still sucks and she has the right to say it does. You also probably hate when your husband gets deployed on short notice or during a holiday or special event and that's all the OP Is saying. To be honest I can't believe you aren't more understanding and sympathetic having known whaf it's like! This is another soldiers wife, you should be standing up for her above anyone else!

By  mariahrawks  |  0

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

when does she say it's only a year? deployments can be anywhere from 7-18 months or more. and "it goes by fast"? Seriously? you've obviously never had someone you loved overseas with little or no communication for weeks at a time. Spending every day worrying about your husband and trying not to dwell on how much it sucks sleeping in your bed alone every night when he should be right next to does not "go by fast".

Reply
  hansbans11  |  0

he's just means it's about a year. most deployments are around a year now of course it can be sooner or later than that. it may not seem to go by that quickly at times but on the whole it does goes by fairly quickly. I know exactly how you feel about being lonely at night and those long weeks of not hearing from him. op: that just blows I'm sorry I hope you can change the date

Reply
  tat2girl0608  |  0

well depending on the branch of service the longest deployment is 12 months........and that's with the Army. just being a spouse doesn't make you an expert in all things military. I have been both a spouse of a deployed servicemember and also deployed myself. OP-your fiancé knew a while ago the estimated date of deployment. that's why they issue orders at least 3 months in advance. you could have changed the date.

Reply
  flgirlwguitar  |  2

My ex-bf has been deployed 3x and it was longer than a year every time. He's been home almost a year and a half now, and I think this is the longest he's ever been stateside as well.

Reply

what do you mean "you've obviously never had someone you loved deployed"? can you not see his pic is of a soldier most likely him in full combat gear ya jack*** get your head out of your arse and respect our soldiers

Reply
  MEM0817  |  18

it doesn't go as fast as it should... idk why people say it goes by fast. ESP when I only got to see my ex twice in a year. The distance put an end to our relationship... on his terms not mine. A lot happens in just a year :/

By  bogwandis  |  0

The most she could do is see if her fiance could deploy at a later time. While not likely, the military isn't completely heartless when it comes to these things. Besides, there is no way either of them could've known during the wedding planning that he would be deployed that day. Don't you guys think they would've changed the date if they knew this earlier? If her fiance can't work something out, then she is out of luck. Depending on how close it is to the wedding, it's really difficult to find a day where everyone and everything would work out like you wanted. OP, I"m sorry that this is happening to you. I'm a military wife as well, and I couldn't imagine how frustrating and heartbreaking this is. Let the disrespectful comments begin :)

Reply
  bogwandis  |  0

lol, I'm glad they agree with me! I was expecting people to chew me out, saying that I don't know anything. Every situation is different. No enlisted member or spouse has the same experience.

Reply
  lizzie57  |  19

When my brother was getting married Prince Philip was really ill. If he'd died then my brother would have been told to go and attend his funeral. We were all waiting with baited breath on the run up to the big day. Thankfully the old codger lives on and the wedding went ahead. But I do feel for poor OP. Lets hope you're right and something can be done!

Loading data…