Friday 28 December 2012 
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Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31284) - you deserved it (2920)
On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)
Today, I unwrapped my present and, to my surprise, I had gotten a repair manual for my truck. Apparently, my parents are "Tired of seeing that piece of shit in front of our house." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9754) - you deserved it (13306)
On 12/26/2012 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I decided to cover a coworker's closing shift because she felt sick. My boss even gave me a $10 gift card for doing it. I felt good about it, until I walked outside and found that my car had been stolen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26661) - you deserved it (1322)
On 12/27/2012 at 3:52am - work - by Ross R - United States (Washington)
Today, I received from my husband for Christmas the body lotion that only he uses. And nothing else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21039) - you deserved it (1836)
On 12/26/2012 at 1:15am - misc - by marriedtoatool - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41946) - you deserved it (3120)
On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33906) - you deserved it (3972)
On 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27325) - you deserved it (1904)
On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38090) - you deserved it (2966)
On 12/30/2012 at 1:29am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32003) - you deserved it (6004)
On 12/28/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Alone - United States
Today, I was texting my mother after my boyfriend broke off our relationship. She offered incredibly supportive replies such as "No, really?" and "Aww, that sucks." before apparently getting bored and claiming she had to go because her "text reception" was breaking up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19894) - you deserved it (3022)
On 12/27/2012 at 6:20pm - love - by youfuckingdumbassmum (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I realized something: when other people are drunk, they dance around and make out with people. When I'm drunk, I apparently think it's a great idea to chew on electrical cords. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13400) - you deserved it (19469)
On 12/29/2012 at 2:30am - misc - by almostkilledmyself - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, while trying to take my Christmas tree down, I learned that at some point during the last few weeks, it became home to a colony of green ants. I'm now covered in bites and terrified to go anywhere near it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19718) - you deserved it (1730)
On 12/27/2012 at 5:54pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45174) - you deserved it (3465)
On 01/01/2013 at 4:00pm - misc - by apparentlythereisnokarma - Canada (Alberta)
Sunday 12 May 2013
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