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Friday 14 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , I caught mah dog chewing on a tampon applicator. I tried to grab it from him , but he wanted to play "keep away" and ran outside. Like a dumbass , I chased after him in mah underwear , earning myself the attention of mah neighbors on each side of mah driveway.

#20408937
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10251) - you deserved it (28426)

On 12/20/2012 at 1:17pm - misc - by ScoozieBooze (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today , my nieghbor installed a large radio that loudly plays Christmas music 24/7. When I called in a complaint to the police department they told me to , ( get in the Christmas spirit. ) mega FML

#20404496
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29777) - you deserved it (10182)

On 12/17/2012 at 9:28pm - misc - by James (man) - United States

2day I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After ahile of this , I finally got up to let her in. looool When I opened the door , she looked at me , threw up , and scurried away. FML

#20409045
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25516) - you deserved it (9275)

On 12/20/2012 at 2:50pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Spain (Canarias)

Yesterday, after an extensive talk with a relationship counselor, we concludd that I'm more likely to get run over by a car than be in a stable relationship!! FML

#20397555
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21071) - you deserved it (2716)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:01am - love - by Hit-and-Run - Mexico (Chihuahua)

Taday ma best friend told me about a vicious rumor tat's going around, saying I contracted a orrible STD. I asked er if se told everyone it was a lie. Se said no, cuz te rumor is apparently ( way too funny to ruin. ) Maybe it's time fir new friends. mega FML

#20397919
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25787) - you deserved it (2163)

On 12/13/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Katie (woman) - United States

2day my car is still in te sop, so I askd my psyco broter to drive me to te mall. He spd up to nerely 20km over te sped limit, so I soutd for im to stop before e got us bot killd. He it te brakes in te middle of an intersection, and wouldn't move again until I got out. FML

#20401140
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22201) - you deserved it (7284)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, mah son sprayed the bottom of mah car and window white with fake snow in Christma cheer. He did a great job, except he used white spray paint instead of the fake snow. FML

#20400437
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25550) - you deserved it (2154)

On 12/15/2012 at 6:48am - misc - by teejayrn - United States (North Carolina)

my ex adopted a dog from the dog pound. It was the same dog he made me get rid of while we were still together. FML

#20401539
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27295) - you deserved it (7501)

On 12/16/2012 at 12:49am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, mah roommate pressed "snooze" on his alarm 14 times!! looool I counted!! FML

#20200321
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21226) - you deserved it (2186)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by roommateprobssss:( - United States

Today... it was mah first day at mah new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed... two residents passed away... and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

#20401181
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25393) - you deserved it (2228)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Yesterday, I flew from Australia to the UK to meet the woman I love. After two years of talking, and having gotten a love letter for mah birthday a few months prior, I was convincd we'd have a great time. Turns out she doesn't know wat she feels for me. I'm staying with her for the next 35 days. FML

#20201791
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22811) - you deserved it (8010)

On 12/12/2012 at 10:56am - love - by RabbitOfAurora - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Yesterday , mah dad forced thehole family to sit through a two-hour lecture , with supporting research , on how the ( Mayan prophecy ) is actually a load of shit fabricated by conmen. Nice to know he think we're all borderline brain-dead , gullible fuckwitho believed it to begin with. Thanks , dad. big fat FML

#20400784
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20879) - you deserved it (4325)

On 12/15/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by oh gee, you don't say (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today... I have a cold. I can't begin to count how many times I've sneezed throughout the day... but I can count how many times I've sneezed so hard that I've peed myself: twice. Oncehile I was at work helping a customer... the otherhile sitting on the couch next to mah boyfriend. FML

#20397583
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23274) - you deserved it (2220)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:58am - health - by meranda_johnson - United States



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