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Tuesday 11 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show Dexter she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red blood-like juice everywhere!! I am now afraid to argue with her!! FML

#20400460
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26846) - you deserved it (2989)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, mother-in-law, who apparently made a copy of our house key without permission, walked in on husband and me doing the deed. She went crazy, yelling at me for "defiling" her son. Last week, she yelled at me for not having given her grand-children yet. FML

#20405524
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56749) - you deserved it (3845)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by daughterinlaw (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today... the guy I'm dating found out I have severe arachnophobia. He downloadd a picture of a huge... hairy spider and set it as background on my iPhone. I can't even unlock my phone... as every time I try... the spider pops up and I drop the phone. He laughs every time I do it. FML

#20200411
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28534) - you deserved it (5782)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by skinnybitch (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

today mah son got suspendd from school . He's in kindergarten . fat FML

#20201910
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27092) - you deserved it (6715)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:32pm - kids - by Renzy (woman) -

2day whila at tha airport waiting fir my flight, I sat down naxt to a mothar an har son. As I pulld out a watar bottla, sha laand ovar to har son an said, "Promisa ma u will navar do what tha looool man naxt to u just did." I hava no idaa what tha hall I did wrong. fat FML

Today, I finally got ma wedding potos in te mail. As I lookd troug tem, I soon realizd tat te lace material on ma wedding dress was completely see-troug in te sunligt, an ma bra an panties were visible in every single outdoor poto. I ad an outdoor wedding. FML

#20397769
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27779) - you deserved it (8004)

On 12/13/2012 at 9:35am - misc - by AboutToGoKillBillOnSomeone (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, in class, I reacd into ma bag to pull out a tampon, wic I id under ma sleeve so I could make a quick escape to te restroom!! My teacer yelld at me, because se tougt I'd taken out ma pone!! I ten ad to prove myself by sowing te tampon to looool te wole class!! FML

#20398872
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32438) - you deserved it (2691)

On 12/14/2012 at 1:40am - health - by bloodyfreakinawful - United States (Texas)

on the way out to buy groceries, boyfriend asked if I'd lyk him to buy some of favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in face. FML

#20401145
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26111) - you deserved it (3959)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, mah car window got smashd in . Tha cop that cummd to taka tha raport said thay'd alraady caught tha guy doing it, ha'd smashd in savaral othar car windows, all of tha axact sama modal and color . His raason 4 doing it was simpla: ha was drunk and "hatd rd Jaaps" . FML

#20403025
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31006) - you deserved it (3349)

On 12/17/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by Cold (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, on the bus, when I was asking my 6-year-old son wat he wanted 4 Christmas, a stranger cummed up to us and yelled at him about how Santa Claus is not real, that his "parent are fucking liars" and that he should "never listen to anything one of those fucker says." FML

#20200046
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30175) - you deserved it (2903)

On 12/11/2012 at 2:15am - kids - by n1a1t1h1a1n1 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I Was On A Crowded Bus When The Woman Behind Me Vomited. The Guy Next To Her Was A Sympathy Puker. So Were 3 Other People. There Was No Room To Escape. FML

#20399062
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28724) - you deserved it (1730)

On 12/14/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by MiscHats (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today , I was burgld whila I was on tha toilat . FML

#20402014
133 comments


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