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Sunday 9 December 2012

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Today, I was yelled at by a customer, who was upset over having waited twenty minutes for a waiter to come take her order. Maybe it would be understandable, if she was sitting in an actual restaurant, and not a serve-yourself coffee house. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2012 at 6:50pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, after a romantic dinner, movie, and stroll in the park, we had our first kiss. It would have been perfect, had a passerby not thrown rubbish at us for "unnecessary public display of affection." FML

by First Kiss / 12/07/2012 at 7:39am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, after coming home from surgery, I discovered that the heating in my entire building had failed. I called my mom asking if I could come and stay with her for a few days. She told me to "think warm thoughts." FML

by lonelyandcold / 12/05/2012 at 6:27pm / United Kingdom (Solihull) / Money

Today, after an extensive talk with a relationship counselor, we concluded that I'm more likely to get run over by a car than be in a stable relationship. FML

by Hit-and-Run / 12/13/2012 at 3:01am / Mexico (Chihuahua) / Love

Today, I decided to talk to a girl at the gym I had seen there a lot. I walked up to her at the station she was at and asked her out to dinner sometime. I didn't realize she had been wearing headphones. She took them off and asked if I was waiting on the station. My courage left. I said yes. FML

by Aaron / 12/09/2012 at 6:34pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, while visiting my widowed great aunt, she took out her wedding rings and talked about the love she and my uncle had. Smiling, I told her that one day I hope to have as happy a marriage as theirs. Her response? "Knowing you, I wouldn't count on it." My mother sat there agreeing. FML

by Stupendous_ / 12/03/2012 at 2:17am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, at school, I have to do a 45 minute presentation with a girl who has panic attacks so bad that she cries, runs out of the room, and sometimes passes out. This presentation terrifies her and it's a major part of my final grade. FML

by Murlocmurk / 12/05/2012 at 12:04pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after two weeks of being grounded, I was finally let out of the house by my mom. I had to call her at 1am asking her to come get me, because I got so drunk, I told my ride to leave without me. I'm grounded again after less than a day of freedom. FML

Today, my best friend told me about a vicious rumor that's going around, saying I contracted a horrible STD. I asked her if she told everyone it was a lie. She said no, because the rumor is apparently "way too funny to ruin." Maybe it's time for new friends. FML

by Katie / 12/13/2012 at 1:00pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my ex adopted a dog from the dog pound. It was the same dog he made me get rid of while we were still together. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 12:49am / United States / Animals

Today, I realized the dress I bought yesterday still had the security tag on. I returned to the store to get it removed, only to realize my receipt was misplaced. The lady at the counter thought I stole it, called security, and had me escorted out, dress-less. FML

by bitchsawmebuyit / 12/08/2012 at 12:12pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, my car is still in the shop, so I asked my psycho brother to drive me to the mall. He sped up to nearly 20km over the speed limit, so I shouted for him to stop before he got us both killed. He hit the brakes in the middle of an intersection, and wouldn't move again until I got out. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 7:03pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Transportation

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 7:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Work