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Saturday 1 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, ma elbow was aving cramps an movement issues as a result of an old set of surgical pins an wires tat r being rejectd by ma body. One painful twitc causd ma arm to lock out straigt, unintentionally slapping ma and into ma co-worker's crotc. Our waiting customers giggld. FML

TADAY I JOKINGLY TRIED TO CONVINCE MA GRLFRIEND TAT WYOMING WAS A GOVERNMENT CONSPRACY AND DID NOT EXIST. SE BELIEVED ME. MEGA FML

#20193447
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19751) - you deserved it (5382)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of mah shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is mah favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing mah own boobs because they smelled like mah ex-boyfriend. FML

Today, I was snooping around in parents closet to see wat I would get for Christmas,hen I cummd across a UPS package. It was the video game I orderd off eBay 3 weeks ago, addressd to me. They told me it had never arrivd and said I should ask Santa to bring it to me. FML

#20195835
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29001) - you deserved it (4513)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today.. . I was chatting to a friend on Facebook about girls.. . and why we're single . We somehow endd up admitting to one another that we'd never get girlfriends.. . finding out that we both lyk hentai porn.. . and trading info on Japanese sex toys . FML

#20196663
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9146) - you deserved it (28868)

On 12/08/2012 at 5:52pm - love - by XxtentaculonxX - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)

Today, mah wife wants to name our frst child Sri, after the iPhone function!! FML

#20182157
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26720) - you deserved it (2552)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by boo8713 (man) - United States (California)

Today feeling very distant to mah daughter recently I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly and alerted everyone in the house to mah actions. fat FML

#20196447
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5201) - you deserved it (54402)

On 12/08/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

today my dad groundd me 4 two weeks 4 profusely swearing at my misbehaving laptop. After some arguing he actually acceptd my half-joking offer to play a game of CoD over it. His condition was that if I lost my grounding period would double. We playd. He kickd my ass. FML

#20185812
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7111) - you deserved it (29331)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:28pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (California)

Today, wile I was removing my makeup wit my boyfriend watcing, e mentioned tat e used to tink girls were prettier witout makeup on, but e'd now canged is mind . FML

#20187008
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26673) - you deserved it (2954)

On 12/01/2012 at 6:54pm - love - by allbrokeup (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, mah guy friend kept complaining that no one had asked him to the dance, so he probably wasn't going to go. I suggested that we go together. He laughed until his face was bright red and said, "I don't think I'll ever get that desperate." FML

#20187578
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29648) - you deserved it (2231)

On 12/02/2012 at 3:03am - love - by Anna - United States (Washington)

today I bought mah son a nice car fir his 18th brthday . When I gave it to him, he just got mad and told me that if I really wanted to spend that much money on him, I should've used it to help him pay fir college . FML

#20192045
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15217) - you deserved it (49578)

On 12/05/2012 at 6:27am - kids - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, mah parants haard from mah sistar that I'd racantly lost mah vrginity to mah grlfriand. I'va navar baan bitchad out so viciously in mah lifa, and yat mah sistar, whom avaryona knows has had numarous casual saxual partnars this yaar, looool is traatad lika a princass 24/7. FML

#20188038
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25582) - you deserved it (2082)

On 12/02/2012 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

today mah grlfriend got into the Christmas cheerhile giving me a hand job, smashing mah nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells!! FML

#20188363
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24661) - you deserved it (3942)

On 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by fineididntwantkidsanyway (man) - Australia (South Australia)



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