Love: Not mine!

Not mine!

By Anonymous - 21/12/2019 18:00

Today, my girlfriend wished me a happy birthday. Too bad my birthday isn't for 5 months. She mixed up my birthday with the guy she's been cheating on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 695

You deserved it 243

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Same thing different taste

By Brian - 23/12/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend wished me a happy birthday. Too bad my birthday isn't for 5 months. She mixed up my birthday with the guy she's been cheating on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 148

You deserved it 2 465

Great gift idea!

By Anonymous - 15/09/2020 08:02 - New Zealand

Today, it was my birthday and my first present was finding out that my girlfriend of five years has been cheating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 625

You deserved it 99

By holla1787 - 04/12/2009 03:11 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her birthday is tomorrow so she sent her new boyfriend to pick up her birthday present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 538

You deserved it 2 818

By A. nonymous - 14/12/2010 13:32

Today, my girlfriend made a delicious birthday breakfast, and she said there would be a surprise at the end. Today is not my birthday, it's her ex's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 965

You deserved it 3 027

By jake - 07/02/2010 18:56 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I forgot it was her birthday. We had only been dating for 2 weeks. I didn't even know when it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 174

You deserved it 8 231

By Anonymous - 15/02/2011 14:31 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I was excited because of all the wall posts I got on Facebook. Then I saw I got a "Happy Birthday" from the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 938

You deserved it 7 463

By brycepetrillo - 07/09/2013 16:08 - United States - New Port Richey

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through my birthday card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 181

You deserved it 3 972

By Anonymous - 22/07/2013 08:47 - United Kingdom - Bury

Today, I was reassuring my girlfriend that I wasn't cheating on her because I was sneaking around. I'm actually just planning a surprise birthday party for her. During the reassuring, I accidentally called her another girl's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 948

You deserved it 30 278

By Anonymous - 08/08/2012 17:15 - United States - Chagrin Falls

Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. To celebrate, I spent the day with her and then took her out to a really nice dinner. She is currently giving me the silent treatment because I didn't write "happy birthday" on her Facebook wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 337

You deserved it 4 251

Kinda sus

By Anonymous - 05/08/2023 14:00

Today, my girlfriend told me she’s visiting her male friend for her birthday. I told her I’m fine with it, but I'm really not. She’s going to spend a few days with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 881

timinator5000 28

Saturday 21 December 2019 20:09

Try to get birthday sex anyways

tounces7 27

Sunday 22 December 2019 5:58

And the STD he gets will be like 2 gifts in 1.

Comments

timinator5000 28

Saturday 21 December 2019 20:09

Try to get birthday sex anyways

tounces7 27

Sunday 22 December 2019 5:58

And the STD he gets will be like 2 gifts in 1.

Iamthebanzai22 20

Monday 23 December 2019 6:12

So you know she is cheating but you don't have the balls to break up?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I set aside a weekend to spend time with a friend. I learned that someone else is staying there: a fat, unemployed man-child who talks shit about us on Facebook, while his manipulative wife pays his bills. He got evicted from his last home when he pretended to be a ninja and cut up his neighbor's garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 71

Today, a person I've never met called me a whore and spat on me. Why? Because I was babysitting for my neighbors and answered the door for two well dressed women passing out religious pamphlets. I politely declined to take any. Apparently being a 15 year-old girl caring for a toddler makes me a sex worker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 61

The Top

Today, I'm over a 1000 miles away from my wife, and she's so upset and angry with me that she doesn't want me to touch her anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 218

Today, for karaoke, I sang American Woman by Lenny Kravitz. The entire audience cracked up laughing and at least three people pulled out their cell phones to record my performance. At the end, the DJ said, "Looks like someone had too much tonight." I was completely sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 857

You deserved it 11 703

Today, I discovered that the seal on my driver's door is defective. I made this discovery when I got rained on while I was getting my car washed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 095

You deserved it 3 063

Today, and every time go I to the gym this guy follows me. A week ago, I saw him taking photos of me, so I left that gym and went to another one, but the creep was still there. What do I do? FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 104

Today, my 17 year old told me he wanted to pursue a career in art. Knowing he's extremely talented at drawing, I congratulated him and told him to pursue that dream. A few hours later I learn that he's been arrested for spray painting graffiti dicks all over a school wall. Well, he's famous now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 048

You deserved it 2 280

Today, I was supposed to have sex with my ex after he’d been out of town for a week. After a lot of build up and sexting last night, I woke up sick and he hurt his leg. It’s like our bodies are telling us not to sleep together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 2 397

Not mine!

Same thing different taste

Great gift idea!

Kinda sus

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