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Monday 26 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my guy friend kept complaining that no one had asked him to the dance, so he probably wasn't going to go. I suggested that we go together. He laughed until his face was bright red and said, "I don't think I'll ever get that desperate." FML

#20187578
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29503) - you deserved it (2217)

On 12/02/2012 at 3:03am - love - by Anna - United States (Washington)

Today, my parents heard from my sister that I'd recently lost my virginity to my girlfriend. I've never been bitched out so viciously in my life, and yet my sister, whom everyone knows has had numerous casual sexual partners this year, is treated like a princess 24/7. FML

#20188038
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25413) - you deserved it (2071)

On 12/02/2012 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, my girlfriend got into the Christmas cheer while giving me a hand job, smashing my nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells. FML

#20188363
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24490) - you deserved it (3931)

On 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by fineididntwantkidsanyway (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was working the dart game at my local amusement park when a couple paid to play. They were highly intoxicated, and they thought the object of the game was to hit me with the darts. FML

Today, my boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or hears something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML

#20182095
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18790) - you deserved it (4294)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by FUSheldon (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

#20183521
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20609) - you deserved it (2857)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today my boyfriend and my best friend had a very lengthy, detailed conversation about Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, of which I know nothing about. Once they stopped, I looked at him and smiled, and he responded with, "Why can't you be more like her?" FML

#20183421
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26600) - you deserved it (7953)

On 11/28/2012 at 11:33pm - love - by JStein (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house when I got a call from my parents. They told me to come home immediately. Panicking, I rushed home. My dad pulled out a clear tube filled with dried leaves. They accused me of having marijuana. It was catnip for my kitten. FML

#20187165
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22701) - you deserved it (1690)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:01pm - misc - by potheadloljk (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I brought a boy over to my house to help with a history project. My mom suddenly swooped in and bombarded him with questions about his and my sex life, and how she wants to have exactly four grandchildren. FML

#20186150
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23891) - you deserved it (1806)

On 12/01/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML

#20179174
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33328) - you deserved it (3155)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my 5 kids were singing their favorite Christmas carols in the van, each trying to sing louder than the others. It would have probably sounded better if they were all singing the same song. FML

#20183806
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20311) - you deserved it (3913)

On 11/29/2012 at 9:22am - kids - by Dave (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss called me Dave. Now everyone actually thinks my name is Dave. It's Nathan. I've been working there for 2 years. FML

#20181011
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23027) - you deserved it (1948)

On 11/27/2012 at 8:16am - work - by nato (man) - United States

Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on my Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to find my Christmas tree covered in ants. FML

#20186141
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6325) - you deserved it (36723)

On 12/01/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Chuffy - United States (Colorado)



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