Thursday 22 November 2012 
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Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16388) - you deserved it (897)
On 11/25/2012 at 6:36pm - misc - by Username (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)
Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19825) - you deserved it (10224)
On 11/19/2012 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26079) - you deserved it (3314)
On 11/19/2012 at 10:12am - intimacy - by nextcontestant16 - United States
Today, my husband quit his job as a university professor and picked up the graveyard shift at a rat farm so he could have more time during the day to play World of Warcraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23583) - you deserved it (1979)
On 11/28/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I caught my teenage daughter smoking, and tried calmly explaining to her that it's quite bad for her health. She replied with, "It doesn't harm you if you're under 20." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20654) - you deserved it (3014)
On 11/23/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by RyanJarmanForPresident (woman) - United States
Today, in a state of extreme boredom, I decided to dress my 6-month-old son in girl's clothes. As he sat in my lap in a frilly dress, and as I was placing a very pink and lacy bow on his head, my mother-in-law unexpectedly walked in. She now thinks I'm mentally unstable and should be in therapy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8513) - you deserved it (25108)
On 11/26/2012 at 11:52am - kids - by ekm86 (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, this really big woman asked me for some cigarettes. I didn't have any, which made her angry. Angry enough to pick me up, stuff me in a dumpster, and sit on the lid. I still smell like garbage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19365) - you deserved it (1313)
On 11/28/2012 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I walked into my house with my friend, only to discover my husband half-naked and yelling at the TV screen over a soccer game. By half-naked, I mean he was only wearing a shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16748) - you deserved it (1946)
On 11/19/2012 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23456) - you deserved it (2546)
On 11/25/2012 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)
Today, after having finally kicked my insomnia's ass after three hours, I was woken up by something I only thought happened in movies. Someone had paid for a Mariachi band to play for their girlfriend, outside my apartment, in the middle of the night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17220) - you deserved it (1002)
On 11/23/2012 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13866) - you deserved it (11365)
On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States
Today, a shopper approached me at Target and said, "So are you just gonna stand there to look pretty and do nothing around here?" I ignored his comment, until he got so upset that he wanted to speak to my manager. It would have been understandable if I actually worked there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19721) - you deserved it (1207)
On 11/25/2012 at 4:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was shopping when I overheard a woman telling an employee that she was buying an iPad for her 5-year-old son. Annoyed, I turned around and ranted about how he should have more age appropriate toys. Then she explained that her son is autistic and will be using the iPad to communicate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6230) - you deserved it (61719)
On 11/29/2012 at 12:29am - misc - by Mimi - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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