Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Monday 12 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

#20161591
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27601) - you deserved it (2725)

On 11/13/2012 at 7:02am - love - by Med (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML

#20167613
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19340) - you deserved it (2239)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:04am - misc - by creys - United States

Today, my older brother thought it would be hilarious to sneak up and scare me in the grocery aisle at the store. I screamed and jumped, knocking half the shelf's contents all over the floor. We're now banned from the only grocery store in town. FML

#20166242
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23517) - you deserved it (2901)

On 11/17/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by sarahhbear - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out I share a birthday with a fictional character who is "untrustworthy" and has a "dark side", so therefore I can't be trusted either. FML

#20163899
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24280) - you deserved it (2013)

On 11/15/2012 at 12:48am - love - by B-Rad (man) - United States

Today, on my way to school, I was shouted at by an obnoxious businessman for sitting down on the train when a "full fare paying passenger" was standing. I would normally have given him the seat straight away, except I have a broken leg. I showed him my leg and crutches. He still made me get up. FML

#20159990
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26831) - you deserved it (3091)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:50am - health - by myleghurts (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad put an onion in my room, telling me spirits won't haunt me and that I won't get sick. He thinks a vegetable will protect me. FML

#20163512
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19914) - you deserved it (2517)

On 11/14/2012 at 7:48pm - health - by duhasiangirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, someone stole my iPhone. I used the Find My iPhone app, and located it in the apartment building next to mine. I can hear the ringing sound I've activated, but nobody will answer the door. FML

#20163099
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24584) - you deserved it (1799)

On 11/14/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found my sister's wedding book. Inside it was a list of potential grooms; she'd written down all of my ex-boyfriends. And my fiancé. We're getting married in three weeks. FML

#20162804
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24163) - you deserved it (1708)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:46am - love - by he's mine (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I went to a big job interview. Everything went well at first, with the interviewer being impressed by my CV. I was then interrogated over not having a Facebook account, and practically accused of being a criminal, because people without them "always have something to hide". FML

#20165792
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25094) - you deserved it (1756)

On 11/16/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I started at my first job. Within the first five minutes of arriving, I was followed around by a white guy who repeatedly sang to me, "Black people love making music" along with a few of his own songs. It resulted in me getting fired for bringing my "boyfriend" to work. I didn't even know him. FML

#20163535
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21838) - you deserved it (1618)

On 11/14/2012 at 8:04pm - work - by sarahijklmnop (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend and I cleaned his parents' whole house while they were out, just to be nice. When they came home, they assumed we only did it because we'd made some huge mess that we needed to hide. I'm now banned from their house. FML

#20164583
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26694) - you deserved it (2248)

On 11/15/2012 at 6:34pm - love - by teea (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML

#20164356
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19121) - you deserved it (2250)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, I was conducting a meeting regarding safety concerns on my field site. While I made a comment, a client rep yelled out that women don't know construction, and that I should be acting like a proper secretary and should get my boss. I'm the Construction Manager. FML

#20161445
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26821) - you deserved it (2186)

On 11/13/2012 at 1:49am - work - by ConstructionLady (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: