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Tuesday 30 October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after a week of looking for my car keys and being forced to drag my family around on public transportation, my wife found the keys in our car's ignition. FML

#20142914
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6308) - you deserved it (27350)

On 11/01/2012 at 1:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I realized why it's a bad idea to store your business cards and your "emergency condom" in the same handbag compartment. I realized this after a client watched me miss the cards and pull out the condom after our lunch meeting. FML

#20144136
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7204) - you deserved it (26341)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:35am - work - by Hornymuch (woman) - Germany

Today, after weeks of wondering if my cat has a fetish for licking my bed covers, I finally witnessed him licking up an ant off of the covers. Turns out that my bed is infested with ants. FML

#20138030
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23683) - you deserved it (4907)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:23am - animals - by lifelike (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sampled some of the food my fiancée's mom is making for our wedding. Everything tasted terrible, and I almost vomited. Turns out she never actually went to culinary school as she claimed, but had just watched Julie and Julia. It's too late to book another caterer for the wedding. FML

#20145916
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25288) - you deserved it (5224)

On 11/03/2012 at 3:42pm - health - by WeddingWoes (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I decided to delete my Facebook account. My older sister repeatedly called me in tears asking why I'm cutting her out of my life. It seems I can't get rid of social media without my family taking offence. FML

#20145432
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21701) - you deserved it (1995)

On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found my fiancé is cheating on me. Our wedding is in 26 days and everything is already paid for. FML

#20140302
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34031) - you deserved it (2200)

On 10/30/2012 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my hair straightener broke. My husband suggested putting electrical tape on it because it was heat proof. I did and started straightening my hair. The supposed heat proof tape melted and got stuck in my hair. FML

#20145539
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8993) - you deserved it (31117)

On 11/03/2012 at 9:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm at home, sick with walking pneumonia and a raging UTI. Every time I cough, I piss myself. I'm now having to lie on a bath towel and garbage bags until the meds kick in. FML

#20145285
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24248) - you deserved it (1569)

On 11/03/2012 at 1:34am - health - by jdch_99 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a customer smiled, looked me in the eye and described to me in graphic detail the swelling that occurred to his nuts after his vasectomy. FML

#20142730
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20698) - you deserved it (1714)

On 11/01/2012 at 9:52am - work - by tmi. - Australia

Today, I started my new job as the only IT tech for my office. My first task: untangling the hundred mice the previous tech tied together for "fun". FML

#20150513
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22150) - you deserved it (1603)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was complimented for having amazingly lifelike warts as part of my witch costume, and was asked how I achieved the effect so well. I didn't have the heart to admit they were just my pimples under green makeup. FML

#20138696
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19168) - you deserved it (1836)

On 10/29/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by mistickfae - United States

Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML

#20144868
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21058) - you deserved it (3621)

On 11/02/2012 at 8:23pm - work - by YOUFUCKINGFUCKSOCK (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, my deranged wife somehow became convinced that vampires actually exist. She's now walking around with garlic powder caked into her clothing. I can't get the smell out of my nostrils. FML

#20147303
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19513) - you deserved it (1996)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Oslo)



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