Sunday 28 October 2012 
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Today, my mom called me from jail. She was arrested for having sex in public. I was with my dad when I got the call. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37522) - you deserved it (1576)
On 10/27/2012 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Monkey (man) - United States
Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20932) - you deserved it (4129)
On 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by jesushelpme (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14700) - you deserved it (2191)
On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6763) - you deserved it (36825)
On 10/23/2012 at 12:25am - kids - by Bratty son (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20829) - you deserved it (2124)
On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)
Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19823) - you deserved it (1763)
On 10/24/2012 at 7:14am - misc - by bill - United States (Maryland)
Today, I said "bless you" to a nice man who sneezed on the subway. That nice man has now followed me home and stood outside my apartment complex for two hours, claiming to be my "soulmate." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22768) - you deserved it (1618)
On 10/28/2012 at 12:22am - love - by prettylady? - United States
Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19027) - you deserved it (2087)
On 10/28/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by becca (woman) - United States
Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22596) - you deserved it (1225)
On 10/29/2012 at 8:03am - misc - by StormSeason (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13529) - you deserved it (2414)
On 10/28/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by Medic - United States (Washington)
Today, I was walking with my boyfriend when a guy walked up to me and told me I look exactly like Taylor Swift. My boyfriend punched him in the face and told him that Taylor Swift is a lot more attractive. I'm actually considering leaving him for the complete stranger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24248) - you deserved it (1831)
On 10/23/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by jeanrose2013 - United States (Arkansas)
Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17172) - you deserved it (3554)
On 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18293) - you deserved it (2450)
On 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Friday 24 May 2013
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