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Sunday 28 October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I said "bless you" to a nice man who sneezed on the subway. That nice man has now followed me home and stood outside my apartment complex for two hours, claiming to be my "soulmate." FML

#20136351
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32353) - you deserved it (2627)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:22am - love - by prettylady? - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and I asked him to call me something sweet. He called me Honey Boo Boo. FML

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20136682
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20551) - you deserved it (3219)

On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML

#20131002
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27386) - you deserved it (2446)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:14am - misc - by bill - United States (Maryland)

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML

#20129296
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10958) - you deserved it (55642)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:25am - kids - by Bratty son (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

#20145795
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34924) - you deserved it (3656)

On 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me by saying, "It's not you, it's me. I have a terrible taste in women." FML

#20140004
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29655) - you deserved it (3058)

On 10/30/2012 at 9:27am - love - by LonelyMe -

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

#20135671
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9953) - you deserved it (35063)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML

#20142541
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30907) - you deserved it (6527)

On 11/01/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by okay._. - United States (California)

Today, I was walking with my boyfriend when a guy walked up to me and told me I look exactly like Taylor Swift. My boyfriend punched him in the face and told him that Taylor Swift is a lot more attractive. I'm actually considering leaving him for the complete stranger. FML

#20130143
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33041) - you deserved it (2880)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by jeanrose2013 - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

#20138384
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30506) - you deserved it (1990)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:03am - misc - by StormSeason (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML

#20136326
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30669) - you deserved it (6562)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Ceej - United States (Michigan)

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML

#20141343
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26246) - you deserved it (3328)

On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)



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