Today, I realized I have more in common with a cantaloupe than I do with my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13869) - you deserved it (3163)
On 05/02/2012 at 2:16am - love - by muddled (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13490) - you deserved it (6062)
On 05/08/2012 at 9:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I decided to look at the pictures my mom took during my birthday a couple of weeks ago. Every single one is of my sister. Her lighting the candles, her watching me open presents, and her eating cake. The only pictures of me are in the background. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21611) - you deserved it (1078)
On 05/03/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)
Today, I went to a party dressed as a zombie. Everyone admired my hilarious "zombie dancing". Those were my regular dance moves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13855) - you deserved it (3279)
On 05/10/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by tinydancer (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was at my new boyfriend's flat. As I came out of the toilet he walked over, took my hand, looked at me and whispered, "You washed your hands. Good." in an extremely creepy manner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13271) - you deserved it (1829)
On 05/11/2012 at 1:03am - misc - by Lizofsmeg (woman) - United States
Today, I corrected someone who spelled "learned" as "learnt" on my favorite forum. Nothing could've prepared me for the torrent of abuse that followed from the non-American members. Now I'm banned for "trolling," and all my 7,000+ posts since 2006 are gone forever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11571) - you deserved it (31667)
On 05/08/2012 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19527) - you deserved it (1590)
On 05/01/2012 at 12:17pm - health - by karmafails (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I went on a picnic with my boyfriend's family. I thought it would be nice to wear my sundress and cowgirl boots. The wind repeatedly picked up my dress in front of everyone, including my boyfriend's seedy grandpa, who I have to admit can do a pretty good wolf-whistle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14933) - you deserved it (5479)
On 05/02/2012 at 2:34pm - misc - by EyeSeeYou (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out who my randomly assigned roommate was. Out of 10,000+ people, I just happen to get assigned a girl who threatened to kill me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18555) - you deserved it (1141)
On 05/09/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by roomingwithevil - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, it was my birthday. I was heading back to my apartment and I heard noises inside the door. Assuming it was the surprise party I'd hinted at, I flicked on the lights as two heavy guys pushed past me. I was robbed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23147) - you deserved it (1215)
On 05/10/2012 at 8:28pm - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I finally built up the courage to confess my love to the girl of my dreams. She turned me down. When I asked her about all the recent receptive behavior toward me, she replied, "I thought it'd be funny." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24010) - you deserved it (1741)
On 04/30/2012 at 12:01pm - love - by HighasaCloud (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I had a dream I was on the toilet taking the longest piss known to man. Unfortunately, it was partially true. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17327) - you deserved it (2143)
On 05/06/2012 at 7:54am - misc - by geez_wth - United States (California)
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23577) - you deserved it (2352)
On 05/01/2012 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by rolyat (man) - United States (New York)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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