Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11021) - you deserved it (37279) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24595) - you deserved it (4160)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by N (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23721) - you deserved it (1292)
On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10083) - you deserved it (29243)
On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States
Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26646) - you deserved it (7187)
On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States
Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13965) - you deserved it (25358)
On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30107) - you deserved it (1905) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -
Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6751) - you deserved it (18331)
On 05/03/2012 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by anonymous4991 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18383) - you deserved it (5380)
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24479) - you deserved it (3005)
On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)
Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24793) - you deserved it (2558)
On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States
Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25248) - you deserved it (5460)
On 05/02/2012 at 11:46am - intimacy - by winnerwinner (woman) - United States
Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48419) - you deserved it (2261)
On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 17 June 2013
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