Saturday 25 February 2012 
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Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15543) - you deserved it (2225)
On 03/03/2012 at 3:27am - health - by fingerhut - United States (California)
Today, I noticed a flash car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3909) - you deserved it (30775)
On 02/21/2012 at 2:00am - misc - by Bellend (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21423) - you deserved it (1546)
On 02/23/2012 at 9:24pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. He laughed at me and said, "That's hilarious because I was going to ask you if you could take a pay cut!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19551) - you deserved it (1303)
On 02/27/2012 at 10:41pm - work - by corey - United States
Today, I get to stand in the unemployment line for the second time in a year because my company can't pay me. My parents own the company. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21924) - you deserved it (2291)
On 02/28/2012 at 8:27am - work - by Jaxur05 - United States
Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6495) - you deserved it (19432)
On 02/29/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, after handing in my resume to get a part-time job, I tried leaving, but the door wouldn't open. It was the "in" door. The person I gave my resume to had to slowly explain this to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6518) - you deserved it (17606)
On 02/22/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by nevergettingajob (man) - Canada
Today, I was very cold and tired, so I took a shower to warm up and went to bed. The minute I hopped into bed, it collapsed and broke. I have spent half-an-hour rearranging furniture to get the mattress on to the floor. Now I'm cold again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15616) - you deserved it (2051)
On 02/27/2012 at 7:36am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I wondered if my orgasms are worth the bother, seeing as I get horrible "I feel like I'm dying" cramps every time I climax. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21493) - you deserved it (1705)
On 03/01/2012 at 10:54pm - intimacy - by imawesome - United States
Today, I found out my wife cheated on me with a guy from her work three times, two months before I proposed to her. She decided to tell me three months into our marriage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24388) - you deserved it (1505)
On 02/27/2012 at 9:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23459) - you deserved it (2015)
On 02/28/2012 at 1:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, my husband and I went to our first counseling sessions, where the main focus was communication. When the therapist called us in together to discuss techniques we could use at home, my husband looked around, rolled his eyes, and responded with, "Uh huh" to every question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16495) - you deserved it (2515)
On 02/23/2012 at 2:59am - love - by atsukobo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my granddad had to start sleeping in my bedroom. He has flashback dreams to when he was a boxer, and he's already lamped my granny three times in his sleep. I get a camp-bed, and the chance to listen to him snore like a wild boar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12807) - you deserved it (1207)
On 02/24/2012 at 6:36am - misc - by Lovernotafighter (man) - United Kingdom
Monday 17 June 2013
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