Saturday 25 February 2012 
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Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17923) - you deserved it (2064)
On 02/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by kohler9790 - United States
Today, I saw a picture of my creepy uncle and me on Facebook, which he had captioned "me and my woman," and posted several lewd comments on. I guess he forgot I'm his friend on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27832) - you deserved it (1476)
On 02/25/2012 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands British
Today, I had to ask my boyfriend to stop measuring his penis during our conversation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18978) - you deserved it (2665)
On 02/27/2012 at 6:06am - intimacy - by facepalm (woman) - United States
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10522) - you deserved it (27005)
On 02/23/2012 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, in bio class, we were studying the reproductive system. I don't like talking about this stuff, and I twitched every time my teacher said "penis" or "vagina." When I told my family, they laughed and kept repeating those words just to see me twitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7429) - you deserved it (21730)
On 02/28/2012 at 4:03pm - misc - by itshilarious - United States (New York)
Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19700) - you deserved it (2860)
On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I told my girlfriend of two years that I love her. She replied, "Um, I don't mean to be rude, but can you just shut up?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24529) - you deserved it (2392)
On 02/24/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by music man (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I woke up next to my boyfriend of two years. I realized I was going to be late for work, so I asked him to hand me my underwear. I had never seen the underwear he gave me before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30571) - you deserved it (2840)
On 02/22/2012 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by vsshopper (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17651) - you deserved it (4446)
On 02/28/2012 at 6:55am - love - by Susan - Canada (Ontario)
Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom". That's how he put it, anyway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23792) - you deserved it (1837)
On 02/28/2012 at 5:04pm - love - by salt. - United States (Ohio)
Today, my car key clicker wouldn't let me in. After a few frustrating minutes, I realized that, besides electronic capabilities, it's also an actual key that fits in a hole to unlock my door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4475) - you deserved it (24679)
On 02/20/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20203) - you deserved it (1496)
On 02/29/2012 at 12:30am - misc - by mandygeegoesnom - United States
Today, my mother-in-law thought it would be appropriate to give my five-year-old daughter some bedclothes with the Playboy logo all over them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19411) - you deserved it (2101)
On 02/24/2012 at 8:26am - kids - by Joanne (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Friday 24 May 2013
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