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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML

#20660172
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43384) - you deserved it (5074)

On 05/13/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

#20663152
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45306) - you deserved it (4962)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:52pm - love - by wellokaythen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML

#20660591
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51757) - you deserved it (3029)

On 05/13/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Confused (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my ex-wife, whom I divorced just 8 months ago, asked me to attend her wedding, because "it would mean a lot" to her. She's marrying the man she cheated on me with. FML

#20651917
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52218) - you deserved it (3143)

On 05/09/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was rushed to the ER due to a very swollen foot and high fever. The doctors said I just have a tissue infection but my parents believe I have a flesh eating disease. I can hear them discussing my future with an amputated leg. FML

#20652691
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45856) - you deserved it (2542)

On 05/09/2013 at 7:18pm - health - by iLikeMyLegs - Canada (Ontario)

Today, for the fourth time this week, I witnessed my mother dancing around the house naked. Apparently, she is loosening up her "inner nudist" and isn't planning on stopping any time soon. FML

#20679387
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43522) - you deserved it (3521)

On 05/22/2013 at 6:56am - misc - by stillhave2years - United States

Today, I had a customer tell me how much she regretted not aborting her expected child, how much she hates the father, and described to me in immense detail what it is like to pee while pregnant. All within the 30 seconds it took me to serve her. FML

#20684874
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46172) - you deserved it (3163)

On 05/25/2013 at 1:09am - work - by mmmretail (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at dance rehearsal. As a male dancer I like to keep the fact that I dance a secret because of the stupid stereotypes male dancers have. This plan was quickly shot down when I discovered I was performing at my school. FML

#20639678
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42497) - you deserved it (5749)

On 05/03/2013 at 8:39pm - misc - by DeActivated (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML

#20649461
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42721) - you deserved it (15200)

On 05/08/2013 at 7:05am - misc - by Sebastian20 (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, in a public restroom, an elderly lady started bitching me out for not washing my hands. I was so intimidated that I did so under her accusing watch. I'm quite intolerant to many soaps, and I now have a horrible rash on my left hand because I was too frightened to explain. FML

#20695638
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43028) - you deserved it (17468)

On 05/30/2013 at 5:18pm - health - by :( (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I called my fiancé just to tell him how much I love him, as a sweet gesture. He yelled at me for interrupting his video game and blamed my "neediness" on the fact that I'm menstruating. FML

#20684824
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45894) - you deserved it (8107)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:40am - love - by BellinaNico (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got a call from work stating that my employment was being terminated. This was after being suspended while they investigated my sexual harassment claim. Their reason for firing me: misuse of company time. Yes, I suppose reporting being sexually harassed is a huge waste of time. FML

#20681249
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50023) - you deserved it (4659)

On 05/23/2013 at 3:24am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was torn from my car and slammed against the hood because a canister of window-cleaning wipes I keep in my glove compartment apparently looks vaguely like a pipe-bomb. My lawyer agreed with the cops, and won't handle the "excessive force" case I threatened the police with. FML

#20683298
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44934) - you deserved it (4264)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:42am - misc - by JDziewaltowski (man) - United States



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