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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was supervising some kids, wo were playing on a bouncy castle. One of tem managd to kick me in te face during a jump, an looking for an apology, I askd, "Wat do you say?" He pausd, ten soutd, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML

#20587303
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44703) - you deserved it (19006) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm - kids - by xx-look-at-xx - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I was again turnad down by a potantial ost family on a studant axcanga sita . Tair raasoning was basically tat sinca I'm Amarican, I migt do somating to andangar my aalt, gat urt, an tan sua tam ovar my own stupidity . FML

#20602754
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42910) - you deserved it (12525)

On 04/18/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by thanks, my fellow americans - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was fired on mah second day of work after a year and a half of unemployment. Apparently, mah ( tendency to solve problems instead of just accepting them made the other workers uneasy ). FML

#20617597
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49425) - you deserved it (3270)

On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - work - by anonymous (man) - Germany

today mah boss threatened to fre me for killing him in Minecraft. real FML

#20571304
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35227) - you deserved it (7622)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:30am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

yesterday I was discussing possible career choices with my relatives. Pretty much everyone expressed the belief that I'm screwed for life, with my grandma commenting later: "She ain't even got the tits for porn. God help her." mega FML

#20577745
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42891) - you deserved it (3967)

On 04/06/2013 at 3:41pm - work - by flea-bitten (woman) - United States

Today, I went over to mah boyfriend's house. After asking him what was wrong due to his wierd attitude, he respondd with, ( This isn't working; I'm in love with mah sister. ) FML

#20592364
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66149) - you deserved it (4045)

On 04/14/2013 at 11:45pm - love - by lonely (woman) - United States

Today... my seven-year-old nephew challengd me to a push up contest in front of my girlfriend. He beat me... and then askd my girlfriend why she's dating a pussy. FML

#20617598
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52513) - you deserved it (21471)

On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - kids - by BIGCHEIFAAA (man) - United States (California)

Today , I had to get my grandparents out of jail , cuz they were caught having sex in a public place!! They excused their actions by saying that u can only be young and stupid once , so if u continue doing stupid actions , u r still young!! FML

Today... I had to go to the emergency room with mah sister... due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML

#20624720
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49964) - you deserved it (4707)

On 04/27/2013 at 8:42am - health - by seekerglow176 - United States (Massachusetts)

I Picked My 12-year-old Daughter Up From School After Her Frst Sexual Education Lecture. She Burst Into Tears On The Way Home Explaining Her Fears Of Being Pregnant With Her Boyfriend's Child. As If That Doesn't Sound Bad Enough, I've Met Her Boyfriend Before. He Is Imaginary. FML

#20575072
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42659) - you deserved it (3860)

On 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm he pulled away an said that vagina is like a mask an that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

#20586362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60001) - you deserved it (10773)

On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today , I told mah dad I'm pregnant. His response? "It's only a phase , you'll get over it." mega FML

#20592767
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53318) - you deserved it (10251)

On 04/15/2013 at 2:04am - intimacy - by twinArmageddon2 - United States (California)

Today, virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch penis. FML

#20596452
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68892) - you deserved it (17914)

On 04/16/2013 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Gurior - Canada



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