Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today my ex-boyfriend accepted my mother's offer to have his wedding in our backyard. FML

#20616531
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44622) - you deserved it (3448)

On 04/23/2013 at 7:04pm - love - by traitor (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it wasn't until I heard something fly off the roof of my car and hit the trunk, then asphalt, that I remembered where I left my phone while unlocking the car door. FML

#20598583
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26527) - you deserved it (32530)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:51am - money - by Anonymous -

Today, I had to be rushed to the hospital when I started sneezing uncontrollably and got a huge rash. It turns out I'm highly allergic to a chemical in most cleaning supplies. Great. I just got a job as a house cleaner for a very rich family. FML

#20632205
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40344) - you deserved it (2437)

On 04/30/2013 at 4:04am - health - by ava_henryy - United States (Washington)

Today, I answered a call at work from a very irate gentleman. After being shouted and sworn at profusely, I ended the call in a slightly less than civil manner. Turns out that guy is one of our company's biggest clients. FML

#20615900
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27689) - you deserved it (39511)

On 04/23/2013 at 2:25pm - work - by hatemyjob (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my parents threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't agree to convert to their new brand of Christianity. This is a day after they ranted at me about how I should speak my mind more and not let myself be controlled by other people. FML

#20628024
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40634) - you deserved it (2919)

On 04/28/2013 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was driving when I noticed that the guy in front was on the phone. I pulled up next to him, pulled out my phone and I made a gesture that he needed to put his phone away. It was a cop. I got a ticket for driving while on my cell phone. FML

#20621724
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36675) - you deserved it (29960)

On 04/25/2013 at 8:56pm - money - by really_now - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out my creepy, obsessive neighbor got a pet hamster and named it after me. He has been telling all sorts of stories about his hamster using my name, and he just told me in detail how it died of heart attack. FML

#20579736
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29890) - you deserved it (2030)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:00pm - animals - by idontevenlikehamsters - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was chatting online with a guy I really like, when he used the word "irregardless." I couldn't help but mention how little sense it makes, since it's a combination of two words meaning roughly the same thing. He replied, "lol what? your stupid." Jesus Christ. FML

#20576546
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30502) - you deserved it (8857)

On 04/05/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by pot, meet kettle (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML

#20583228
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37270) - you deserved it (3735)

On 04/10/2013 at 5:06am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after two and a half hours of travel, it was finally my stop on the train. I politely waited for a group of women to get off first. They took so long to move that the train doors closed. I shouted at one through the door to call the conductor. She watched and smiled as the train departed. FML

#20569932
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33205) - you deserved it (3549)

On 04/01/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by CrimsonAmaryllis (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I was out when a guy walking with his girlfriend eyed me up. I made a shocked face at him and kept walking. The next thing I knew, his girlfriend was beating the shit out of me claiming that I was "the other woman." I'd never seen the guy before in my life. FML

#20581007
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35065) - you deserved it (3004)

On 04/08/2013 at 6:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, my sister was faced with the choice of getting a burger, or picking me up in a snowstorm. The burger won, and I had to travel 4km home by foot. FML

#20579065
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32454) - you deserved it (2452)

On 04/07/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by unknown - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I asked my grandmother to hem my prom dress for me. I'm her oldest granddaughter so I thought she'd be happy to do it. She said no. Her occupation is a seamstress. FML

#20589845
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40819) - you deserved it (7049)

On 04/14/2013 at 10:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: