Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Today, Mah Grlfriend Was Giving Me Head During The Horror Flick We Were Watching. Little Did I Know, Mah Grlfriend Isn't A Big Fan Of Horror Films. It Was During A Sex Scene That Intensified The Moment. The Same Sex Scene From Which Emerged A Sudden Jump-scare. I Now Have Bite Marks On Mah Penis. Mega FML
Today , I nervously startd a new job , and mah co-workers were telling me silly rules about our boss . Later , I accidentally bumpd into him , and blurtd "Rule #7 , don't touch George." He definitely heard . FML
Today , I found out that mah wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy , natural" way to make them , an it also cleans her feet!! I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week!! FML
TODAY, WANTING TO IMPRESS DATE, I BULLSHITTD HER ABOUT HOW I WAS AN ENVIRONMENTAL SCIENTIST. SHE GOT SO IMPRESSD THAT SHE INVITD ME OVER TO HER PLACE. NOT HER HOME, HER OFFICE. SO THAT I COULD GIVE HER POINTERS ON HER CURRENT PROJECT. SHE'S A REAL ENVIRONMENTAL SCIENTIST. FML
Today... an attractive guy came up to me and told me that I lookd sexy in a picture online. He then askd himself y he had never askd me out before. Apparently... he doesn't remember our 6-month relationship... or how it endd when he slept with sister. FML
Friday 27 March 2015