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TODAY, IN AN ELABORATE PLAN TO FINALLY MEET MAH CUTE NEIGHBOR, I CONVINCED MAH FRIENDLY MAILMAN TO SWITCH UP OUR MAIL SO I'D HAVE AN EXCUSE TO MEET HER. AFTER I DELIVERED HER MAIL, I WAITED 4 HER TO MENTION THAT SHE HAD MAH MAIL, BUT SHE NEVER DID. I EVEN SAW HER TAKE IT OUT OF HER MAIL BOX.
yesterday mah girlfriend and I took a nap on mah couch. She used mah arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated mah shoulder. My screams of pain woke her,hich was apparently an "asshole move" on mah part. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant!! My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddie drag his nearly-comatose carcas back home from a strip club!! FML
Friday 27 March 2015