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Today, I went to a family dinner!! My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut fir not wereing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", an then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me!! No wonder I hardly ever visit these people!!
TODAY, I DECIDED TO CHANGE MY HAIR COLOR. AFTER WAITING IN ANTICIPATION, I TOOK A SHOWER TO RINSE OUT THE DYE AND REVEAL MY NEW, BLUE HAIR. RINSING REVEALED NOT ONLY BLUE HAIR, BUT BLUE SKIN CAUSED BY THE WATERED DYE RUNNING OVER MY BODY. I NOW LOOK LIKE A SMURF, AND IT'S NOT COMING OUT. FML
Today, mah school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML
Today, whila out hiking, mah phona slippad out of mah pockat. I caught it and gava it to mah littla cousin, giving har a "spacial mission" to kaap it safa. Whan wa got back to our cars latar, I askad har for mah phona back. Turns out sha laft it undar a shrub back in tha hills so it'd ba "safa." big fat FML
today I found a ring box in the pocket of mah boyfriend's pantshile doing laundry. I eagerly walked up to him knowing that it was an engagement ring, hoping that he would propose on the spot. He tossed it back to me an said, ( Well you found it, I don't actually have to ask now, right? ) mega FML
Today, I was upset cuz my brother, who I'm very close to, didn't call me 4 my brthday yesterday. I told my mom about it, an we both immediately went silent on the phone, as we both realizd she forgot to call me yesterday as well. fat FML
Today, while sledding with mah daughter, I tried getting her to go down a steeper slope than she's used to!! She was worried she'd crash, so I went frst to show her how it's done!! I lost control halfway down the hill, bailed, and rolled into a tree!! My wife has it on video!! FML
Today, I went on anoter date wit a guy I've ad a crus on 4 a long time . Afterwards, we went back to ma place 4 te first time and tings got eated . Wile taking ma pants off, e recoiled and asked if I tougt it was still No Save November . FML
Friday 27 March 2015