Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I've been struggling with English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate . This is because mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about wat a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her . FML

#20452365
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31802) - you deserved it (2642)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:02pm - animals - by theycallmekitty (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today my husband and I found the perfect house in our price range and everything we wanted in a house!! However the street it's on is called ( Arbour Butte Road )!! My husband refuses to buy it cuz he doesn't want it to sound lyk he lives ( in a tree's ass!! ) I'm married to an idiot!! FML

#20451265
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30411) - you deserved it (5813)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by it's just a name (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I made my first snowman ever, an ten crieden my big broter kicked it to pieces !! I'm 27 !! FML

#20475358
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30723) - you deserved it (9471)

On 01/23/2013 at 7:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today While Video Chatting With Grlfriend, Who Lives On The Other Side Of The Country, I Thought I'd Play A Song Fir Her On Guitar. The String Broke And Hit Me In The Face. I Burst Into Tears And Had To Hang Up. FML

#20471171
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32918) - you deserved it (7563)

On 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, mah dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML

#20438971
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33039) - you deserved it (2094)

On 01/02/2013 at 4:53pm - animals - by Anon. -

my mothar cummd back from har trip to Vagas. Har braast wara obviously 2 lattar sizas largar. I askd if sha got a boob job and sha danid it , saying that it's against har raligion. Sha's an athaist , and a liar. FML

#20460160
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35313) - you deserved it (3205)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by Brooke - United States (California)

Today, My Mom Barged Into My Room At Three In The Morning, Demanding To Know Where I'd Been. I'd Been In My Room Sleeping Since Ten O'clock. In That Time She Had Called The Police, All Of My Friends, And My Ex-boyfriend, Asking If I Was With Them. FML

#20479024
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35020) - you deserved it (2194)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Sarah - United States

Yesterday, mah boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbd his butt to control his thrust and got a clump of usd toilet paper. FML

#20465889
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60437) - you deserved it (6952)

On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average . Feeling good about myself I decided to bake some cookies . After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven I realized I forgot to turn the oven on . big fat FML

#20475894
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16707) - you deserved it (29941)

On 01/24/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by steven - United States (California)

Today, I have to take a midterm, which is worth a large part of my grade. All our teacher has taught us so far is how to roast s'mores over a Bunsen burner, and how to make gummy beres explode. Our test is on kinetics. FML

#20471562
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29094) - you deserved it (3376)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my sister's boyfriend called while she was out. The second I answered he tried to have phone sex with me. When I explained to him that I wasn't my sister and that we just sound the same on the phone, he replied, ( Don't care, let's keep going. ) FML

#20484366
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45761) - you deserved it (4528)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:40am - intimacy - by Awkward... (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her she really was a girl and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34.

#20444863
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26646) - you deserved it (8047)

On 01/06/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by lifsabtch (man) -

Today, after a long, horrible day at work an some fighting with my family an my girlfriend, I decided to cheer myself up by going to McDonald's for a change. I burst into tears when the cashier told me they couldn't make me a Mars McFlurry because they'd run out of ingredients. FML

#20460946
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37227) - you deserved it (8046)

On 01/15/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - Finland (Southern Finland)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: