*slaps bad #1

You had the first comment and you blew it.

I hate you a little bit..

17 when I read your comment I started singing Kelly Clarkson's Since U Been Gone. Thank you.

why???? Some of us would love to have first comment. We would respect the almighty first comment spot. We would treat it right, respect it, make it feel appreciated like it deserves. We wouldn't slap it in the face, murder it and then piss on its grave like you might as well have just done.

You are very welcome #27. I can see why you chose that response. :)

Pact violator. #1 is hereby excluded from the Awesome FMLers Treaty.

lol I get your pun. apparently the idiots above don't though.

Is that REALLY what you think, #82? That her "shitty situation" pun was too advanced for us troglodytes?

#82 has a lot to learn. #82 you must be new here.

#82, you disappoint me

If I were in a hotel I would leave that there...

I can't believe you actually admitted to doing so..

That happened to me too! One time my dad had to break it up as well because I was 8. :P

No. I think she needs to eat less fibre.

Eat more noodles. It wont help, but they are great!

46- What do you think fiber does?

Speaking of eating... I was just eating a sandwich and thought I'd catch up on FMLs. Appetite gone.

84- you eat while on FML? Bad mistake, man. I learned about a week after I started that eating and FML is a bad combination

wtf? u reached into it?

94-Idk I find eating while reading fml rather relaxing lol trick? Read in categories so you can skip the shitty ones lol :D

Agreed. That should have been a last resort.

In all of life, I have never done this. How big was this pooh? Wow.

I don't think I would've even bothered with sticking my hands in it as a last resort. I'd rather be embarrassed and wait.

#43, the pooh was so big, OP thought about naming it Winnie and setting it free to live in the Hundred Acre Woods.

Slightly better than someone else fecal matter, I suppose

Have you read the story about the guy who took a crap and had nothing but a Bible to wipe with, and then his life suddenly spiraled into homelessness, drugs and very interesting adventures? It's very graphic, but it's a great read of how one small action can have terrible, unexpected consequences..

60, how high are you dude?

Freaking amen!

sometimes its too late and you just sit down without realizing. bad habit though.

1. sit down 2. do your business then if you clog the toilet at someone's house you must 1. panic for 30 seconds 2. look everywhere 3. use your hand 4. wash your hands for 30 seconds 5. never talk about what happened

16- Are you talking about toilet paper? Because you can use a plunger after you have finished your business

Just don't clog the toilet .

then there probably would have been extra soap under the sink

No shit

No I believe there was shit actually.

I know your avatar is a baby but do you have kids? One day you will touch poop. Trust me.

They said they wouldn't touch their own poop, not their child's.

Also, not everyone wants to have kids. No kids = no need to touch poop (unless you're the OP, I guess)