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December 2012

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Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55740) - you deserved it (9892)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today... my 14-year-old daugter cummd ome after sneaking out and partying. Se was totally drunk... and startd crying on my soulder because some boy namd "Tomas" as a small dick... and se ad to fake an orgasm. fat FML

#20419819
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82306) - you deserved it (25295)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today during a conversation mah boss said "What what?" Before I could stop myself I replid "In the butt." FML

#20191552
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12021) - you deserved it (28252)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke!! He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids"!! How did he graduate? FML

#20186465
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44215) - you deserved it (6859)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States

Today in tha middla of tha night I got up to go gat soma watar !! Whan I cummad back I was going to flop onto mah bad but I facaplantad into mah floor !! I'd forgottan that I'd raarrangad mah room an movad mah bad !! FML

#20406748
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33290) - you deserved it (19111)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, ( Here's yur son, yur AA meeting's in an hour, let's go. ) FML

#20423578
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50361) - you deserved it (4747)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I Met Mah Girlfriend's Father 4 The First Time; He Asked Me To Explain Mah Interest In Dating Her . In A Mix Of Me Trying To Say "I Want To Be With Yur Daughter" An "I Want To Be In Yur Daughter's Life" I Got Confused An Said, "I Want To Be In Yur Daughter." Real FML

#20198676
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31822) - you deserved it (6277)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

at a Christmas party , crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response stupid brain could think of was , "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27319) - you deserved it (12895)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

yesterday as her parents were supposd to be out of town, I stayd over with mah grlfriend, and we endd up in bd together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I hered footsteps, so I said, ( Didn't think you'd be walking after that. ) I closd the fridge and saw her dad. FML

#20418714
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45955) - you deserved it (25224)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, cuz I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

Today my friend and I told each other about our boyfriends. They're both nice kind beautiful talented funny sweet and smart. They also both have the same name. And house. And job. And car. FML

#20196037
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41822) - you deserved it (2775)

On 12/08/2012 at 5:44am - love - by ouch. - Canada (Yukon Territory)

today I was slapped acros the face by a grl in the waiting room at the dentist's office!! She thought I was taking a picture of her breast with mah phone!! I was smilinghile reading other people's FMLs!! FML

#20189568
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39022) - you deserved it (3170)

On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)



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