Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years proposed to me. Less than 3 hours later, he panicked and made me give the ring back. FML

#20407692
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37747) - you deserved it (3802)

On 12/19/2012 at 3:47pm - love - by mahanaaa_23 (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I hid my weed stash in a bag from an expensive jewellery store. My sister walked into my room, went "Ooh, what's this?" and grabbed the bag. I grabbed it back and ad-libbed that it was her Christmas gift. Now I actually have to buy her expensive jewellery. FML

#20405613
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10263) - you deserved it (55695)

On 12/18/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by junkie (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML

#20405502
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9948) - you deserved it (22590)

On 12/18/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by I said whaat -

Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML

#20404919
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20574) - you deserved it (4171)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my roommate turned the thermostat down to 50 degrees. Why? Because she read that shivering burns calories. FML

#20200383
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20154) - you deserved it (1567)

On 12/11/2012 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a senile old lady came up to me and offered me chocolate. I noticed that it was ex-lax, so I politely told her no. My 4-year-old daughter pushed me aside and ate the ex-lax, because she thought it was candy. I now have a stinky child on a 3 hour bus ride, with no stops. FML

#20197580
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15277) - you deserved it (7415)

On 12/09/2012 at 11:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at Walmart when I saw my grandpa in the next aisle looking at magazines. Wanting to surprise him, I ran up behind him and hugged him around the middle. Up close, I realized he wasn't my grandpa. FML

#20420733
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13435) - you deserved it (23386)

On 12/25/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was yelled at by a customer, who was upset over having waited twenty minutes for a waiter to come take her order. Maybe it would be understandable, if she was sitting in an actual restaurant, and not a serve-yourself coffee house. FML

#20194179
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16454) - you deserved it (821)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a look through my dad's girlfriend's phone she left on the table. Best part: I now know what I'm getting for christmas. Worst part: I now know my dad's favourite position. FML

#20413212
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12710) - you deserved it (66080)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I sent a cute, jokey text to my girlfriend saying, "Just in case the world ends, I love you." Not only did she dump me because I was an "idiot for believing in the doomsday", which I don't, she also wrote a Facebook status about it. Now everyone thinks I'm mentally unstable. FML

#20409563
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33519) - you deserved it (6237)

On 12/20/2012 at 7:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, after a romantic dinner, movie, and stroll in the park, we had our first kiss. It would have been perfect, had a passerby not thrown rubbish at us for "unnecessary public display of affection." FML

#20194899
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20776) - you deserved it (2800)

On 12/07/2012 at 7:39am - love - by First Kiss - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while picking up a birthday cake, I was screamed at by an upset woman for getting special attention from the bakers, and that I was nothing more than an attention-hogging slut. The bakers are my co-workers and I was picking my cake up on my day off. FML

#20201761
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21561) - you deserved it (1410)

On 12/12/2012 at 10:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I caught my dog chewing on a tampon applicator. I tried to grab it from him, but he wanted to play "keep away" and ran outside. Like a dumbass, I chased after him in my underwear, earning myself the attention of my neighbors on each side of my driveway. FML

#20408937
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9458) - you deserved it (26534)

On 12/20/2012 at 1:17pm - misc - by ScoozieBooze (woman) - United States (New Mexico)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: