Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, whilst at my new step-dad's Christmas lunch, my mother spiked my drink so that I would look worse than her in front of her new mother-in-law. FML

#20418159
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30449) - you deserved it (2215)

On 12/24/2012 at 5:09am - misc - by heya - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom found her CD of cats and dogs singing Christmas songs. That is what I'll be listening to until Christmas. FML

#20186305
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20822) - you deserved it (1686)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:00am - misc - by hinowdie - United States

Today, after an extensive talk with a relationship counselor, we concluded that I'm more likely to get run over by a car than be in a stable relationship. FML

#20397555
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21108) - you deserved it (2717)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:01am - love - by Hit-and-Run - Mexico (Chihuahua)

Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML

#20412747
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11524) - you deserved it (45827)

On 12/22/2012 at 12:01am - love - by Stupid Drunk - United States

Today, after two weeks of being grounded, I was finally let out of the house by my mom. I had to call her at 1am asking her to come get me, because I got so drunk, I told my ride to leave without me. I'm grounded again after less than a day of freedom. FML

Today, I realized the dress I bought yesterday still had the security tag on. I returned to the store to get it removed, only to realize my receipt was misplaced. The lady at the counter thought I stole it, called security, and had me escorted out, dress-less. FML

#20196308
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28471) - you deserved it (4064)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:12pm - money - by bitchsawmebuyit - United States (New York)

Today, my best friend told me about a vicious rumor that's going around, saying I contracted a horrible STD. I asked her if she told everyone it was a lie. She said no, because the rumor is apparently "way too funny to ruin." Maybe it's time for new friends. FML

#20397919
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25844) - you deserved it (2164)

On 12/13/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Katie (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up with a hangover from hell. My clothes were stained with vomit, I was propped up on the sofa with a bowl between my knees, and my hair tied to one side. My mum was taking photos to send to Grandma. FML

#20418077
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11463) - you deserved it (38492)

On 12/24/2012 at 3:46am - misc - by chunderful202 - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, my car is still in the shop, so I asked my psycho brother to drive me to the mall. He sped up to nearly 20km over the speed limit, so I shouted for him to stop before he got us both killed. He hit the brakes in the middle of an intersection, and wouldn't move again until I got out. FML

#20401140
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24069) - you deserved it (7593)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, I woke up thinking my house was on fire because I could hear crackling flames downstairs. I panicked and tripped out of bed. It was the fireplace channel I left on last night so I could wake up to a Christmas ambiance. FML

#20422230
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10221) - you deserved it (31335)

On 12/25/2012 at 9:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I gave a homeless man my last bit of spare change so he could get on the bus. Just as I was about to get on too, I realized I'd lost my bus card. I had to get off the bus and watch as the man waved at me through the window. FML

#20192452
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23414) - you deserved it (2754)

On 12/05/2012 at 3:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my son sprayed the bottom of my car and windows white with fake snow in Christmas cheer. He did a great job, except he used white spray paint instead of the fake snow. FML

#20400437
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25593) - you deserved it (2156)

On 12/15/2012 at 6:48am - misc - by teejayrn - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at a talent show, my band got booed before we even started playing. FML

#20188582
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22284) - you deserved it (3013)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:26pm - misc - by disembob - United Kingdom



Caleb Taylor's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #14
  • We're back! Hooray! It's the month of May and time once again to dig around the FML postbag to see what wonders of the English language we can find. Like a sculptor making a statue out of a block of marble,…

Wednesday 20 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: