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December 2012

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Today, I recievd a package from a local guy on Craigslist . Instead of the iPhone I paid $350 for, the box only containd a photo of an iPhone . The guy had been dumb enough to attach a return address, so mah husband went over and beat the shit out of him . I now have to bail him out of jail . FML

#20416192
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42655) - you deserved it (12424)

On 12/23/2012 at 12:52pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, mah boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, mah hand hit his shoulder and I dropped mah phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, mah dad was staring at us from outside. He still appear to think I was giving him head. fat FML

#20200049
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36177) - you deserved it (3745)

On 12/11/2012 at 2:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today I sent in an assignment from batshit insane teacher. The assignment was to read a poem analyze it and make a comic of its plot. This would've been fine if the teacher who assigned it to me didn't teach math. FML

Today, I had plans for a romantic night with mah boyfriand, who is parfact in avary way possibla. Wa wara going to hava sax for tha first tima as wall. Unfortunataly, I had a draam last night about him shitting all ovar ma an I can't look at him with a straight faca. maga FML

#20403258
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36963) - you deserved it (14236)

On 12/17/2012 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, It's Been 13 Months Since I've Been Living In The States. I've Been Calld A Nazi, Askd If We Have Electricity In Germany, An Been Made Fun Of The Way I Speak With Mah ( German Accent ), The List Goes On. I'm Not Even German, I'm Danish. FML

#20201491
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41780) - you deserved it (2577)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:45am - kids - by LearnGeographyUSA (man) - United States (Washington)

Today after giving my mother an my girlfriend there Christma presents I realizd just how similar they lookd both in box size an wrapping paper . I looool noticd after my mother gaspd upon finding a vibrator in her box . FML

#20420433
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18387) - you deserved it (50574)

On 12/25/2012 at 2:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today , I was riding the train and someone fartd. Everyone lookd at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML

#20190789
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29644) - you deserved it (6281)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico

TODAY, I TOLD GIRLFRIEND TAT I'M BREAKING UP WIT ER CUZ SE'S VERY ABUSIVE. AFTER A COUPLE OF SECONDS OF AWKWARD SILENCE, SE KICKED ME IN TE NUTS AN RAN AWAY. FML

#20189170
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28635) - you deserved it (3802)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

TODAY, MAH HUSBAND DISCOVERED POKING ME IN MAH BELLY BUTTON MAKES ME HAVE TO PEE, SOMETIME IT'S UNCONTROLLABLE AN HAPPEN IMMEDIATELY. HE THINK IT'S HILARIOU AN DECIDED IT'S HIS NEW FAVORITE GAME. FML

#20186585
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25910) - you deserved it (2594)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today , tha highly intoxicatd singar of mah band dacidd it would ba a wondarful idaa to squat down and taka a shit on staga in tha middla of a gig!! FML

#20408486
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37178) - you deserved it (4281)

On 12/20/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by dudeyouarefired -

Today, I got into a fight with grlfriend. After yelling and arguing point, cat got up and jumped up next to her on the bed. He sat down, and they both glared at me until I left. FML

#20189474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21720) - you deserved it (3869)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today... I went down on mah boyfriend fir the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement... an I thought it was working really well... until he sighed... ( For fuck's sake... it's a dick... not a shotgun. ) an told me to stop embarrassing him. fat FML

#20399775
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34207) - you deserved it (8360)

On 12/14/2012 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by sucks at sucking (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today , I Smiled At A New Kid And Started A Conversation Wit Im , Just To Be Nice. He Later Sent Me 24 Messages Describing Ow Strong Is Love Fir Me Is. I'm Scared To Go To Scool Tomorrow. FML

#20200101
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30795) - you deserved it (3368)

On 12/11/2012 at 3:39am - love - by you're just creepy. - Canada (Yukon Territory)



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