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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML

#20141343
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23396) - you deserved it (3038)

On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)

Today, I fell down the stairs. Lying on my back in extreme pain, I called my mom for help. When she came over, she said I looked like a dead bug, took a picture and posted it on Facebook. FML

#20118333
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21912) - you deserved it (1991)

On 10/15/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Bug (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that I spend the same amount of money on my phone bill as I do on Nutella. FML

#20123737
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7601) - you deserved it (23711)

On 10/19/2012 at 10:19am - health - by Nutellalover (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

#20135671
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8991) - you deserved it (32738)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, it was my 2 year anniversary with my boyfriend. As we were about to exchange gifts, he got a call and said he had to go home immediately. What was the emergency? His guild leader couldn't find another healer to finish a raid and promised my boyfriend gear if he would step up. FML

#20120587
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20683) - you deserved it (4068)

On 10/17/2012 at 1:16am - love - by Marie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML

#20107056
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25523) - you deserved it (5260)

On 10/08/2012 at 5:12am - love - by embarrassed (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my cat played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

#20126149
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18516) - you deserved it (5340)

On 10/21/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up and found a little note where my husband should have been. It said, "We've had some good times, hun, but it's time for me to move on." We've been married for 15 years, and have 3 children. FML

#20121146
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40662) - you deserved it (2135)

On 10/17/2012 at 4:16pm - love - by AbandonedHouseWife - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that my mom gives my brother tips on how to hurt my feelings the most. FML

#20107287
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28499) - you deserved it (1838)

On 10/08/2012 at 11:08am - misc - by LovedByFamily (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

#20134273
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25615) - you deserved it (2487)

On 10/26/2012 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by fiftyshardsofbroccoli (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that my life would make an excellent meme: Nerd girl goes to college, finally loses virginity; gets chlamydia. FML

#20106351
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36532) - you deserved it (12239)

On 10/07/2012 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by Unfortunate (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad was teaching me how to drive. He told me that stop signs with white outlines are "optional." I ran through the next one I saw and got pulled over by a cop. My dad is making me pay the ticket for being "that stupid." Thanks dad. FML

#20129645
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11087) - you deserved it (35958)

On 10/23/2012 at 9:19am - money - by Dinger1992 - United States

Today, after waking up from a drunken night, I realized the burning sensation I had from the lube during sex was because I used hand sanitizer. FML

#20125076
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10544) - you deserved it (34366)

On 10/20/2012 at 9:57am - intimacy - by MIND BLOWING - Canada (Ontario)



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