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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML

#20131535
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31442) - you deserved it (1942)

On 10/24/2012 at 5:08pm - love - by wtactualfuck :( (woman) - United States

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

#20109382
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19965) - you deserved it (3163)

On 10/09/2012 at 6:56pm - kids - by fionnathehuman - United States

Today, just for old time's sake, I decided to jump on my bed. I ended up hitting my head on the spinning fan and knocking myself unconscious. FML

#20114543
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9688) - you deserved it (30499)

On 10/13/2012 at 2:45am - health - by lalalalainie - United States (California)

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

#20141794
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24343) - you deserved it (3509)

On 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at around 11pm the police made a visit to my house, explaining how my neighbors had thought I was using a universal remote to change their television channels. FML

#20099119
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21782) - you deserved it (1252)

On 10/02/2012 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML

#20115322
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29077) - you deserved it (3636)

On 10/13/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to tell my 10-year-old son that if he wanted to get girls, he had to do the Gangnam Style. My son has now non-stop been doing the Gangnam Style. FML

#20136801
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21212) - you deserved it (4114)

On 10/28/2012 at 10:53am - kids - by friedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML

#20118231
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36061) - you deserved it (2173)

On 10/15/2012 at 4:27pm - love - by 3023-dang - United States

Today, I got a call from my son's school saying to pick him up because he'd shat his pants. He's in high school. FML

#20119263
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24904) - you deserved it (2525)

On 10/16/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by Mike - United States

Today, my stepdaughter called to say hello and to give me a warning: she will do whatever it takes to keep me from having a baby with her dad, including pushing me down the stairs. I'm 12 weeks pregnant, and we were going to tell her this weekend. I'm now petrified of a 10-year-old. FML

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML

#20107225
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34715) - you deserved it (5773)

On 10/08/2012 at 10:07am - intimacy - by bucollegegirl (woman) - United States

Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML

#20106995
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24585) - you deserved it (5039)

On 10/08/2012 at 3:14am - love - by stoych (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow bar maid asked how we are supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML

#20141378
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26224) - you deserved it (1852)

On 10/31/2012 at 7:30am - work - by kat (woman) - United States (Florida)



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