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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I saw a dog trying to attack a man. I have experience working with aggressive dogs, so I pulled the dog off him and got it under control. The man punched me in the face for not having my dog on a leash. It wasn't my dog. I don't even own a dog. FML

#20090883
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29429) - you deserved it (1801)

On 09/27/2012 at 11:31am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I had breakfast with his grandmother. She told him how I'm prettier than "that Mexican" he'd brought home for dinner last week. We had dinner with her last week, and I'm that same Mexican. She then went on to how Mexicans are what's wrong with the economy. FML

#20071462
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26125) - you deserved it (2665)

On 09/14/2012 at 10:13am - misc - by MexicanMe (woman) - United States

Today, it's been a week since I've been in hospital. No one has been to visit me. The nurses have nicknamed me "The Lonely One." FML

#20071345
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29243) - you deserved it (1767)

On 09/14/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by lonely one - United States

Today, my boss told me his cancer test results came back positive. I congratulated him and asked how he planned to celebrate. It turns out a positive cancer test result is a bad thing. FML

#20083093
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7651) - you deserved it (57988)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:24am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML

#20056763
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9390) - you deserved it (54541)

On 09/04/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by Cherrish it - United States (California)

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML

#20095343
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28781) - you deserved it (3128)

On 09/30/2012 at 3:37pm - intimacy - by whatswrongwithit?:( (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML

#20089658
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25264) - you deserved it (2939)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Juiced (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was so happy to be leaving the hospital after breaking my arm the night before. Just as I walked out of the doors, a huge ambulance team was running in at the same time and knocked me down full force. I now have a broken ankle. FML

#20091853
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28162) - you deserved it (2219)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:34am - health - by red_headforlife - United States (Arizona)

Today, my wife of four years revealed to me that she once had sex with six men at once back in college. Apparently she still fantasizes about it when we have sex. FML

#20087984
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33878) - you deserved it (3462)

On 09/25/2012 at 11:09am - intimacy - by supapimpin (man) - United States

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML

#20091837
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25654) - you deserved it (3415)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was driving with my boss and she held her breath as we drove past a cell tower, because she didn't want to "breathe in any radiation." I have to take orders from this moron. FML

#20060271
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23324) - you deserved it (1657)

On 09/06/2012 at 9:45am - work - by Heavy D - United States

Today, I spent hours crafting a tiara to look like the princess from my boyfriend's favourite game series, Zelda. I sent him a picture of me wearing it, and got the reply: "Sure, that's nice, but you'd be better as Majora." FML

#20079245
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19263) - you deserved it (3173)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:25pm - love - by MT (woman) - Finland

Today, while trying to change my visiting cousin's opinion about our state being "redneck and white trash", we stumbled upon a proposal/celebration in a Walmart. So much for changing her opinion. FML

#20066095
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17405) - you deserved it (3424)

On 09/10/2012 at 8:48am - misc - by liquidknight - United States



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