Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14553) - you deserved it (5247)
On 09/10/2012 at 5:20pm - work - by kevcng (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15696) - you deserved it (1742)
On 09/26/2012 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Juiced (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boss told me his cancer test results came back positive. I congratulated him and asked how he planned to celebrate. It turns out a positive cancer test result is a bad thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4945) - you deserved it (38915)
On 09/22/2012 at 2:24am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, at school, a guy walked up to me and said I look a little too young to be at high school. I told him that I'm sixteen years old. He stared at my chest for several long seconds, muttered "What the fuck?" and walked off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19206) - you deserved it (1555)
On 09/17/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by wtf yourself, cunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was so happy to be leaving the hospital after breaking my arm the night before. Just as I walked out of the doors, a huge ambulance team was running in at the same time and knocked me down full force. I now have a broken ankle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21441) - you deserved it (1406)
On 09/28/2012 at 1:34am - health - by red_headforlife - United States (Arizona)
Today, I saw a dog trying to attack a man. I have experience working with aggressive dogs, so I pulled the dog off him and got it under control. The man punched me in the face for not having my dog on a leash. It wasn't my dog. I don't even own a dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22795) - you deserved it (1315)
On 09/27/2012 at 11:31am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I got yelled at for providing horrible customer service, in a store I don't even work for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17920) - you deserved it (1293)
On 09/30/2012 at 1:32am - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18507) - you deserved it (2701)
On 09/28/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20911) - you deserved it (2404)
On 09/30/2012 at 3:37pm - intimacy - by whatswrongwithit?:( (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19657) - you deserved it (4033)
On 09/11/2012 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by apparently inexperienced (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6624) - you deserved it (43965)
On 09/04/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by Cherrish it - United States (California)
Today, I went to run an errand while my parents helped unpack boxes in my new house. When I returned, my dad said to me, "I wasn't going to say anything, but we 'did it.' I'll let you figure out which room". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16254) - you deserved it (1082)
On 09/23/2012 at 12:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my grandparents took me out for dinner for my birthday. After singing, "Happy birthday dear..." they froze. I had to say my own name because they'd forgotten it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19346) - you deserved it (1259)
On 09/05/2012 at 2:12am - misc - by holymoly - Canada (Alberta)
Monday 17 June 2013
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