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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML

#20081849
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29094) - you deserved it (3361)

On 09/21/2012 at 6:57am - work - by scarred for life - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

#20058507
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26473) - you deserved it (5048)

On 09/05/2012 at 4:14am - love - by steve (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I collected my students' notes in class to check them. One girl, who is always drawing weird anime crap in her sketchbook, turned in just one piece of paper that read, "FUCK YOUR CLASS." FML

#20076781
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18693) - you deserved it (20383)

On 09/17/2012 at 8:21pm - work - by Mrs. Teacher (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my step-brother had some serious bowel distress and rushed to the bathroom. Because he forgot to quit his group chat with his buddies, I quickly found out that the reason he's so over-protective, and hostile to my male friends, is because he wants to get into my pants. FML

#20085042
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27774) - you deserved it (2098)

On 09/23/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by creepedasfuck (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I realized just how clingy my boyfriend is, when he pulled out in the middle of sex, lay down and hugged me, and said in his "adorable" voice that he didn't really want to have sex, but cuddle. I wouldn't mind if it didn't happen so often. FML

#20088123
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30021) - you deserved it (4683)

On 09/25/2012 at 1:42pm - intimacy - by orgasmsareoverratedanyway (woman) - Norway (Nordland)

Today, I helped my friend, who is a slob, move out of my house. I found the source of the funky smell she's been complaining about, under her bed. It was her vibrator. I found it with my bare hands. I had to bleach my hands twice and I still don't feel clean. FML

#20081199
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34831) - you deserved it (2550)

On 09/20/2012 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by MistressSuzuka (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML

#20058797
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26454) - you deserved it (2248)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

#20072555
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25211) - you deserved it (2572)

On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML

#20056463
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21850) - you deserved it (2894)

On 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by weave9z (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML

#20053719
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12791) - you deserved it (29870)

On 09/02/2012 at 6:07am - kids - by The Horrible Older Sister - United States (Arizona)

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

#20086472
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20941) - you deserved it (5834)

On 09/24/2012 at 10:33am - kids - by smashed (man) - United States

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

#20071617
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26416) - you deserved it (2176)

On 09/14/2012 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found a Justin Bieber shrine in my daughter's closet. FML

#20077908
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31424) - you deserved it (3717)

On 09/18/2012 at 3:51pm - kids - by unfortunateMother (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)



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