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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my father bet me $200 that since my boyfriend is "such a stupid shit," he wouldn't be able to locate Paraguay on a map. I gladly accepted the bet. Not only did he not know where it is, he actually accused us of making the country up. FML

#20063309
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20293) - you deserved it (12435)

On 09/08/2012 at 3:16pm - misc - by dating a fucking idiot (woman) - United States

Today, my book bag was so heavy that it set off my car's passenger detection system in the front seat. I had to buckle in my textbooks. FML

#20068805
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25461) - you deserved it (3519)

On 09/12/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except when he did he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML

#20089963
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22252) - you deserved it (3565)

On 09/26/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by wickedbeauty333 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up feeling ecstatic, because last night, my crush had told my best friend he likes me a lot. I sent him a text message telling him the feeling is mutual. A little while after sending it, it hit me that his confession had only been part of a dream. FML

#20073337
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29822) - you deserved it (6565)

On 09/15/2012 at 6:16pm - love - by hannah (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)

Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML

#20053719
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12452) - you deserved it (29255)

On 09/02/2012 at 6:07am - kids - by The Horrible Older Sister - United States (Arizona)

Today, I saw a shady looking person on the street. As I walked past him, he said, "Hey, come here." Thinking he needed something, I went over. He handed me several pictures of my wife, in public and at home. I've never seen this man before in my life. FML

#20089025
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30320) - you deserved it (1735)

On 09/26/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ahappypenguin -

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

#20086472
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20923) - you deserved it (5829)

On 09/24/2012 at 10:33am - kids - by smashed (man) - United States

Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML

#20079735
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24100) - you deserved it (2783)

On 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm - kids - by Judy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

#20071176
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37833) - you deserved it (2337)

On 09/14/2012 at 1:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was talking on the phone with my crush. After an hour of talking she told me, "If you were half as hot as you sound over the phone, I'd date you immediately." Maybe I should give up on love and start a phone sex line. FML

#20078825
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32481) - you deserved it (2416)

On 09/19/2012 at 2:24am - intimacy - by annonymous - United States

Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML

#20062989
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24881) - you deserved it (5018)

On 09/08/2012 at 10:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit at me because I laughed at her idea of getting the Cullen family tree tattooed on her back. FML

#20079438
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31167) - you deserved it (3213)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:22pm - love - by Shame (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband of five years left me for a woman ten years older than himself who lives nine hours away. He met her online two weeks ago while playing Call of Duty. FML

#20091576
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31584) - you deserved it (2405)

On 09/27/2012 at 10:14pm - love - by strawberrywine22 (woman) - United States (California)



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