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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my book bag was so heavy that it set off my car's passenger detection system in the front seat. I had to buckle in my textbooks. FML

#20068805
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20822) - you deserved it (2998)

On 09/12/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my roommate came out of the bathroom, and asked me how the scales knew her weight in both pounds and kilos, even though "the exchange rate is always changing." I actually live with this idiot. FML

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except when he did he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML

#20089963
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14821) - you deserved it (2334)

On 09/26/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by wickedbeauty333 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up feeling ecstatic, because last night, my crush had told my best friend he likes me a lot. I sent him a text message telling him the feeling is mutual. A little while after sending it, it hit me that his confession had only been part of a dream. FML

#20073337
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27517) - you deserved it (6142)

On 09/15/2012 at 6:16pm - love - by hannah (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)

Today, I saw a shady looking person on the street. As I walked past him, he said, "Hey, come here." Thinking he needed something, I went over. He handed me several pictures of my wife, in public and at home. I've never seen this man before in my life. FML

#20089025
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24724) - you deserved it (1319)

On 09/26/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ahappypenguin -

Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML

#20053719
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10586) - you deserved it (26093)

On 09/02/2012 at 6:07am - kids - by The Horrible Older Sister - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML

#20079735
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15921) - you deserved it (1676)

On 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm - kids - by Judy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

#20086472
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14546) - you deserved it (4191)

On 09/24/2012 at 10:33am - kids - by smashed (man) - United States

Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML

#20062989
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21134) - you deserved it (4585)

On 09/08/2012 at 10:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was cycling with my uncle and became increasingly frustrated as we got further and further from our intended destination. It took me a while to figure out that I had somehow lost my uncle and was following a complete stranger. FML

#20066014
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7843) - you deserved it (18233)

On 09/10/2012 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

#20071176
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31373) - you deserved it (1927)

On 09/14/2012 at 1:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband of five years left me for a woman ten years older than himself who lives nine hours away. He met her online two weeks ago while playing Call of Duty. FML

#20091576
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27226) - you deserved it (2046)

On 09/27/2012 at 10:14pm - love - by strawberrywine22 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I spent ten minutes looking for my cell phone in the dark, only to realize the light I was using was my cell phone's. FML

#20078695
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6163) - you deserved it (26571)

On 09/19/2012 at 12:14am - misc - by unaware - United States (Ohio)



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