Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Wednesday 19 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

#20735100
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46412) - you deserved it (4714)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I caught my 16-year-old daughter and her boyfriend trying to use a latex glove as a condom. FML

#20735858
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53763) - you deserved it (8457)

On 06/19/2013 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by whatno - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents decided they are going to come with me on my first date. FML

#20734991
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55741) - you deserved it (4111)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:39am - misc - by Overprotected (woman) - United States

Today, at my job at my tattoo parlor, yet another client offered to pay for his tattoo by "letting" me sleep with him. This client happens to be my boyfriend's best friend, whose girlfriend is having me tattoo his name on her wrist next week. FML

#20735377
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49406) - you deserved it (3664)

On 06/19/2013 at 2:46pm - work - by notkatvond (woman) - United States

Today, I have pink eye in both eyes, the stomach virus, and a cold. I'm also sitting at work because my boss "doesn't believe in sick days." FML

#20735203
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51010) - you deserved it (3285)

On 06/19/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by sicksicksick - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML

#20735044
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51354) - you deserved it (3207)

On 06/19/2013 at 11:29am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months got upset and frustrated with me because he had yet to meet my mom. I'd told him on our first date that she passed away 4 years ago. FML

#20736145
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49880) - you deserved it (3171)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at the airport when I saw a woman drop her bags and run to her husband. Thinking that someone might steal them, I picked up her bags and brought them over to her. She thanked me by slapping me, calling me a bitch and calling security. FML

#20735913
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38140) - you deserved it (5151)

On 06/19/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I helped an elderly lady put a bookshelf in her car. She then thanked me by hitting me with her car as she drove out of the parking lot. FML

#20736007
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37258) - you deserved it (2724)

On 06/19/2013 at 9:09pm - work - by anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my duty manager demanded we close the bar early because she wanted to go home. I was subject to abuse from customers for closing early, then shouted at by the duty manager for not being done. My actual bar manager fired me for closing early. FML

#20734756
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45054) - you deserved it (3716)

On 06/19/2013 at 3:18am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I won an argument against a sexist co-worker. When I left later on, I jumped into my car to drive home, but managed to reverse it into a parked excavator. Guess who's going to hear virginal jokes about women drivers from now on. FML

#20735108
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33064) - you deserved it (16202)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:18pm - work - by fuck the man-dominated construction business (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my boyfriend told me he hasn't been to the dentist in two years and definitely doesn't plan on it because, "That's just how the government steals more money." FML

#20734761
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38551) - you deserved it (5269)

On 06/19/2013 at 3:22am - misc - by RoyallyGrossedOut (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: