Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17108) - you deserved it (1528)
On 05/25/2012 at 8:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I got fired from my job at a weight-loss center because I was too skinny, and apparently it's too depressing for the customers to handle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18222) - you deserved it (2304)
On 05/25/2012 at 7:18am - work - by jingle - United States (Delaware)
Today, trying to look cool, I threw my coke bottle in the air, and tried to catch it with one hand. I missed and it fell to the floor. Luckily, it wasn't open, but in my unimaginable stupidity, I opened it less than five seconds later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3614) - you deserved it (22874)
On 05/25/2012 at 3:30pm - misc - by stupidity (woman) - Switzerland (Geneve)
Today, I joined a local interest website, hoping to make some friends in my area. I don't think I've ever met so many guys before who introduce themselves with pictures of their cocks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13448) - you deserved it (3523)
On 05/25/2012 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3522) - you deserved it (19742)
On 05/25/2012 at 2:29am - misc - by Karate Kid (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I realised that I've been deployed for far too long, when I caught myself looking down the cleavage of a mannequin wearing a bathing suit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16413) - you deserved it (1797)
On 05/25/2012 at 12:03pm - misc - by Lonely_Army (man) - Qatar
Today, on the brink of a stiflingly hot summer, I've come to a terrible realisation. It seems the apartment I've just moved into has been specially insulated to trap enough heat inside for the occupants to survive the planet's next Ice Age. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13641) - you deserved it (1641)
On 05/25/2012 at 3:55pm - misc - by Broon (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)
Today, I replaced my car's windscreen wipers, after someone stole the last pair. After I finished, I went indoors for a drink. When I returned, the new ones had been stolen too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16151) - you deserved it (1169)
On 05/25/2012 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, due to an unforeseen pipe-related incident, I had to shave my legs in my backyard fish pond, while a plumber assessed the damage to my war-zone of a bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10464) - you deserved it (1961)
On 05/25/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by KieRendan (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my grandmother told me my favorite top had a permanent smell of BO, despite my constant deodorant use. I wear the top to work just about every shift. I now realize all the weird little comments my coworkers have made are actually hints to go take a shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5734) - you deserved it (15478)
On 05/25/2012 at 3:07am - work - by emliv12 - Australia (Victoria)
Today, after 5 months of unemployment and hardcore job searching, I got hired for my dream job. I called my mum to tell her all about it, to which she responded, "Great honey! Now all you need to do is lose all that weight". She allowed me all of 4 minutes of feeling good about myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14954) - you deserved it (1701)
On 05/25/2012 at 12:32am - misc - by daddyowl - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I realized that the reason there is no toilet paper in the house is because both my parents are too stubborn to be the one who goes out to buy more. It's been five days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13361) - you deserved it (2297)
Today, I started my third day of a student exchange program in Belgium. My room-mate is a guy, our beds are in the same room, and he's always in and out of the bathroom. Consequently, I don't have nearly enough privacy to choke the cock, if you know what I mean. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5445) - you deserved it (15422)
On 05/25/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by MySummerinEurope (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
