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Tuesday 1 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was grocery shopping. When I got to the frozen foods, I saw some lean pockets, which I haven't had in forever, so I bought a couple of boxes. Around lunch time, I was hungry and thought I could have some, until I realized why I stopped buying them: I don't have a microwave. FML

#20908021
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22713) - you deserved it (38338)

On 10/05/2013 at 4:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I have been home sick and depressed for so long that I just found Oreo crumbs in my belly button. FML

#20911052
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36536) - you deserved it (16596)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:55pm - health - by Sadness (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went with my boyfriend to his church youth group for the first time. I found out a girl there likes him, when she decided to pull me off him while we were hugging, and take my place. FML

#20903481
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43813) - you deserved it (2940)

On 10/01/2013 at 4:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

#20909928
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50759) - you deserved it (3588)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:54pm - love - by UHM (man) - United States

Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML

#20907982
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21358) - you deserved it (47985)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I got my daughter's school pictures. Instead of smiling, she did the duck face. She's 6. FML

#20912722
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47951) - you deserved it (7842)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was working behind the bar at a club. After serving drinks to a guy, he asked me if I could carry them outside to the two girls waiting for him. I scowled at him and told him I wasn't a waitress. That's when I realised he had one arm. FML

#20910594
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22961) - you deserved it (53325)

On 10/07/2013 at 3:37am - work - by bitch (woman) - Australia

Today, I was working a kid's birthday party dressed as a clown. The child's mother made me change because he was scared of clowns. The only thing I had in my car was a princess costume that was owned by a girl co-worker. So for 4 hours I had to entertain in a tight pink dress. I'm a guy. FML

#20913049
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41918) - you deserved it (4471)

On 10/08/2013 at 9:19pm - kids - by Allycat (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I passed my math test with flying colors. My dad thought I had cheated, so he emailed the school and told them that I had. They lowered my grade. FML

#20912578
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57764) - you deserved it (3299)

On 10/08/2013 at 3:17pm - misc - by mathgenius - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my mom and I got the answer to the question, "Is our dog really dumb enough to jump out of the window of a moving vehicle?" The answer: Yes. FML

#20904318
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42733) - you deserved it (5880)

On 10/02/2013 at 2:36am - animals - by BasketGhost - United States (New York)

Today, I got proposed to. I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years and we have 2 kids. It was perfect, except it was my ex-boyfriend who proposed to me. FML

#20901818
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46639) - you deserved it (5561)

On 09/30/2013 at 10:47am - love - by courtnayy (woman) - United States

Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML

#20911508
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42799) - you deserved it (3707)

On 10/07/2013 at 8:21pm - misc - by Agax (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got my two-year-old's Halloween costume in the mail. I tried it on him to make sure it fit. He loves it so much that he is now having a complete meltdown because he wants to go trick-or-treating. He doesn't understand we only go trick-or-treating on Halloween. 23 more days to go. FML



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