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Tuesday 1 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

#20904456
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16616) - you deserved it (110314)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:43am - love - by Lilly (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boyfriend called me a selfish bitch and dumped me after I told him I'm planning on getting much-needed breast reduction surgery. FML

#20903440
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60816) - you deserved it (14723)

On 10/01/2013 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Ggirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my body-building addiction hit a whole new level when I begged my friend to sell me her breast milk. FML

Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML

#20912171
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56249) - you deserved it (4457)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:55am - kids - by thisguy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, I was taking a woman's measurements while she held her screaming baby. To silence the infant, she whipped out her breast right there and started feeding him. Moments later, he puked breast milk all over my desk. FML

#20905964
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42061) - you deserved it (3722)

On 10/03/2013 at 1:39pm - work - by blargh - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, my teacher was talking about anorexia and bulimia. Midway through the lesson, she stopped and knowingly asked if I wanted to share my experiences with the class. I don't have an eating disorder, just a screwed-up metabolism. FML

#20904715
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51182) - you deserved it (3013)

On 10/02/2013 at 2:37pm - health - by 94lbs of muscle -

Today, I accidentally texted a picture of my cock to my dad. FML

#20907559
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27519) - you deserved it (81242)

On 10/04/2013 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML

#20910814
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27673) - you deserved it (37481)

On 10/07/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by loserllamalick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

#20906275
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36247) - you deserved it (30353)

On 10/03/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Kyra.45 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the doctor's for an ultrasound, as I'm 7 months pregnant. Then he went home and took his wife out to dinner for her birthday. FML

#20911051
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32797) - you deserved it (91406)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:54pm - love - by Cereal_mistress (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter threw a tantrum in the middle of a store, all because I wouldn't buy her a pushup bra. FML

#20909114
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46324) - you deserved it (6583)

On 10/06/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my coworkers that I was going on a date tonight so they would think I have a social life. One of them spotted me while I was eating alone at McDonalds. FML

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

#20906869
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52908) - you deserved it (7315)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by f.a.t. (woman) - Australia



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