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Friday 7 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge." After the movie, I jokingly asked him that if the U.S. had such a purge in real life, would he participate, and who would he kill first. Without missing a beat, he said, "you." FML

#20714140
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41130) - you deserved it (8074)

On 06/08/2013 at 7:43pm - misc - by purged (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

#20715175
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57039) - you deserved it (9866)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my grandpa pointed me out to one of his friends, saying, "Yeah, she's the ugly one." FML

#20717602
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46428) - you deserved it (3994)

On 06/10/2013 at 2:14pm - misc - by sadgirl - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML

#20716829
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47447) - you deserved it (4844)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:09am - work - by Frazz (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I took my pet rabbit to the vet because I had noticed his genitals looked swollen compared to my other rabbit's. It turns out he's just "gifted". The vet laughed at me. FML

#20719275
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43352) - you deserved it (6610)

On 06/11/2013 at 10:00am - animals - by Rjlup - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

#20719355
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63606) - you deserved it (4283)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up early to travel to the office headquarters 3.5 hours away for important meetings. After waking up at 5.30am, picking up all my colleagues and driving 40 min out of town, I realised I was wearing my woolen house slippers. They were the only pair of shoes I'd brought on the trip. FML

#20722747
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39966) - you deserved it (8593)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:04am - work - by vanity113 - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got mugged on the way to my 21st birthday party at a bar. I begged the thug to at least throw me my ID, only to have him laugh and run away singing "happy birthday". FML

#20711068
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55988) - you deserved it (3536)

On 06/07/2013 at 1:14am - money - by ididntevendrinkthatnight - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while. I was doing upper body workouts and decided to ask a very large man to spot me while I did bench presses. As he stood over me, I saw two beads of sweat roll off his nose. One hit me on the cheek. The other landed in my open mouth. FML

#20709141
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45356) - you deserved it (7947)

On 06/06/2013 at 4:49am - misc - by dollabill009 - United States

Today, I got a concussion and several staples in my head. As it turns out, watering flowers is much more dangerous than it might sound. FML

#20716424
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36617) - you deserved it (7104)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:27pm - health - by Sean - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom at work when I ran out of toilet paper. There was another guy in the restroom so I asked him if he could hand me a roll. He laughed, called me a dumbass, turned off the lights and walked out. FML

#20717345
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48981) - you deserved it (5522)

On 06/10/2013 at 11:55am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML

#20720453
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58806) - you deserved it (2900)

On 06/11/2013 at 10:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nearly non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML

#20711923
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47291) - you deserved it (4995)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)



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