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Thursday 14 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML

#20543064
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27863) - you deserved it (4942)

On 03/14/2013 at 2:21am - health - by Kimberpoo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the gym with my grandma. In the span of an hour, she was hit on more than I ever have been in my life. FML

#20547830
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32046) - you deserved it (3886)

On 03/17/2013 at 3:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, at college, I finally talked myself into confessing my feelings to a girl I really like. Her response was to threaten to sue me. For what, exactly? I have no goddamned idea. I just don't understand people anymore. FML

#20545151
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33467) - you deserved it (2983)

On 03/15/2013 at 6:43pm - love - by forever single, I guess (man) - United States

Today, I was dancing with an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me when he leaned over and said, "If I was straight, I would make you my queen." FML

#20548252
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38869) - you deserved it (5593)

On 03/17/2013 at 8:10pm - love - by noooooooo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a cute guy who works at the mall winked at me. When I met up with my boyfriend, I bragged to him about it. His response was, "Don't flatter yourself, he winked at me too." FML

#20550170
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31676) - you deserved it (15970)

On 03/18/2013 at 11:29pm - love - by amberrenee91 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found a purse in the school bathroom. When I looked inside, there was an iPod along with some other expensive stuff in it. I took it to the office so the right owner would get it back. The owner passed me in the hall on the way there; she freaked out and punched me in the face. FML

#20551761
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40127) - you deserved it (2598)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:55am - misc - by really? (woman) - United States

Today, I was talking to my boss and he said I was awesome. He went to fist bump me and I missed. FML

#20552081
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27921) - you deserved it (8018)

On 03/20/2013 at 10:31am - work - by missedfistbump - United States

Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML

#20552364
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34375) - you deserved it (3084)

On 03/20/2013 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

#20544356
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39018) - you deserved it (5684)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:44am - misc - by fmlman - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her teddy bear wants to eat her. My husband thought it would be funny to put the bear right in front of her face while she slept. She's now terrified to sleep anywhere but in our bed. FML

#20539958
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31568) - you deserved it (5888)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I found out that my recurring acne is actually bedbug bites. I have wasted about a hundred dollars on acne cream. FML

#20549483
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32377) - you deserved it (6886)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:30pm - health - by thisentiretime... - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML

#20538947
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31456) - you deserved it (2482)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by marcymoo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I really feel about her, due in no small part to how flirty she's been towards me lately. Turns out she's really just a skank and was trying to make my best friend "jealous". He's gay. FML

#20553905
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36414) - you deserved it (3645)

On 03/21/2013 at 4:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)



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