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Thursday 14 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. Depressed, I started telling her about my terrible week. A woman came over and asked me to not be so "whiny and negative" in front of her children. FML

#20542127
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27075) - you deserved it (6974)

On 03/13/2013 at 2:52pm - misc - by marisacb (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML

#20543064
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27750) - you deserved it (4927)

On 03/14/2013 at 2:21am - health - by Kimberpoo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at college, I finally talked myself into confessing my feelings to a girl I really like. Her response was to threaten to sue me. For what, exactly? I have no goddamned idea. I just don't understand people anymore. FML

#20545151
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32408) - you deserved it (2889)

On 03/15/2013 at 6:43pm - love - by forever single, I guess (man) - United States

Today, a cute guy who works at the mall winked at me. When I met up with my boyfriend, I bragged to him about it. His response was, "Don't flatter yourself, he winked at me too." FML

#20550170
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31575) - you deserved it (15937)

On 03/18/2013 at 11:29pm - love - by amberrenee91 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was dancing with an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me when he leaned over and said, "If I was straight, I would make you my queen." FML

#20548252
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38719) - you deserved it (5582)

On 03/17/2013 at 8:10pm - love - by noooooooo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was talking to my boss and he said I was awesome. He went to fist bump me and I missed. FML

#20552081
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27798) - you deserved it (8009)

On 03/20/2013 at 10:31am - work - by missedfistbump - United States

Today, of the two IDs I possess, I handed the cop that pulled me over the fake one. FML

#20545967
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9682) - you deserved it (64906)

On 03/16/2013 at 10:58am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

#20544356
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38900) - you deserved it (5672)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:44am - misc - by fmlman - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her teddy bear wants to eat her. My husband thought it would be funny to put the bear right in front of her face while she slept. She's now terrified to sleep anywhere but in our bed. FML

#20539958
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30995) - you deserved it (5821)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I found out that my recurring acne is actually bedbug bites. I have wasted about a hundred dollars on acne cream. FML

#20549483
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32271) - you deserved it (6876)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:30pm - health - by thisentiretime... - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I really feel about her, due in no small part to how flirty she's been towards me lately. Turns out she's really just a skank and was trying to make my best friend "jealous". He's gay. FML

#20553905
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36282) - you deserved it (3626)

On 03/21/2013 at 4:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that from now on during sex, I have to be on top at all times, saying I need the exercise more than him. As offensive as this was, I was actually happy because he's crap on top. FML

#20549126
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45203) - you deserved it (8408)

On 03/18/2013 at 10:36am - intimacy - by Ann (woman) - United States

Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML

#20552364
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33533) - you deserved it (3021)

On 03/20/2013 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)



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