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Thursday 14 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I tossed half a sausage to a dog sitting beside a park bench. It wasn't until he lunged for it and dragged the man beside him off of the bench that I realized it was a seeing eye dog. FML

#20552676
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30316) - you deserved it (23948)

On 03/20/2013 at 7:53pm - animals - by SolaceInRage (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw some pictures of my boyfriend drunkenly kissing his ex on Facebook. I asked him about it, and he reassured me the pictures were from months ago. Unfortunately for him, I happened to notice a small tattoo on his neck. The same tattoo I went with him just last week to get. FML

Today, I finally got to meet my boyfriend's parents; it turns out that his mum is my therapist. I've just spent an entire morning telling her how confused I am about my sexuality. FML

#20553373
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48420) - you deserved it (6252)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:25am - misc - by me (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I finally got a tattoo of an alchemy symbol that I've wanted for years. I also found out later that symbol stands for urine. FML

#20539190
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9522) - you deserved it (47830)

On 03/11/2013 at 3:43am - misc - by PeeLeg (woman) -

Today, due to a flat tire, I only had 20 minutes to complete a 35 minute walk to catch my train. I ended up sprinting up the snow-covered frozen hill in heels, luggage in hand, only to arrive 1 minute in time, and to find out that the train had been cancelled. Next train in 1 hour. FML

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

#20543433
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48308) - you deserved it (9650)

On 03/14/2013 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me for months. It all started while I was in the hospital, he says, because we were supposed to go out that day, but then I "had to go and get sick". He blames my emergency surgery for his infidelity. FML

#20547926
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38821) - you deserved it (2882)

On 03/17/2013 at 4:12pm - love - by need an appendickectomy (woman) - Finland

Today, I was at the library doing research for my midterm. All of the computers were in use, so I decided to use my laptop instead. Ten minutes later, I was confronted and kicked out. My offense? Unauthorized use of the library's so-called "Free Public WiFi". FML

#20540861
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35426) - you deserved it (2893)

On 03/12/2013 at 3:03pm - misc - by PhailedMidterm (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I advised my daughter to not drink a Coke before bed. She smiled at me and reassured me that it could be balanced out with sleeping pills. I'm raising a future drug addict. FML

#20547328
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32965) - you deserved it (6828)

On 03/17/2013 at 6:25am - kids - by hejdixjeln - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML

#20553491
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38704) - you deserved it (3479)

On 03/21/2013 at 9:31am - misc - by WetWalking - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I said yes. This caused him to panic, excuse himself, then take it back via text message a half hour later, claiming he'd been drunk. We live together. When he comes back home, it's going to be very awkward indeed. FML

#20541052
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37922) - you deserved it (2752)

On 03/12/2013 at 6:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was cleaning a house. While dusting a rickety nightstand, a drawer fell open and a light-up dildo fell out and turned on. I couldn't figure out how to turn it off. FML

#20541893
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40748) - you deserved it (4501)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:36am - intimacy - by OptimusVader (woman) - United States

Today, of the two IDs I possess, I handed the cop that pulled me over the fake one. FML

#20545967
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9765) - you deserved it (65423)

On 03/16/2013 at 10:58am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



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