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Sunday 10 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML

#20536683
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44384) - you deserved it (5772)

On 03/09/2013 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML

#20537800
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34281) - you deserved it (8849)

On 03/10/2013 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that the neck injury that my mom has had since last week was planned just as an excuse not to shovel when today's snowstorm came. She has planned on being lazy for over a week now. FML

#20533403
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29360) - you deserved it (2966)

On 03/06/2013 at 10:16am - misc - by Drew (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad and I had an hour-long conversation. When he was getting up to leave my room he said, "Good talk Chelsey." My sister is Chelsey. So I corrected him. He thought I was joking. My father can't tell my sister and I apart. We are not twins. FML

#20535549
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38542) - you deserved it (2410)

On 03/08/2013 at 5:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

#20536627
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41259) - you deserved it (3187)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while serving two middle-aged women at the coffee shop, I was screamed at and accused of being a "sexist and chauvinistic bastard." This was prompted by me charging one of them 40 cents for the addition of steamed milk, which is clearly stated on the price sheet. FML

#20547816
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32563) - you deserved it (2452)

On 03/17/2013 at 3:00pm - work - by innocentbarista (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to find that my parents had replaced my regular alarm clock with a walking one that requires you to get up and find it. The alarm was set to 5:00AM, which would have been fine if it wasn't the weekend. FML

#20530545
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35558) - you deserved it (3738)

On 03/04/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML

#20532138
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34686) - you deserved it (13275)

On 03/05/2013 at 11:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, after my 5-year-old finally got over his grandmother's death, we went to a store and saw a lady that looked exactly like her. She came up to us asking if we saw her grandson; I can't get my son to stop freaking out. FML

#20535134
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40796) - you deserved it (2452)

On 03/07/2013 at 8:55pm - kids - by Maxie - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally got the courage to confess my feelings to the guy I have loved for a year now in a long note. He called half an hour later and said, "I'm not going to read this crap, just tell me what it says". FML

#20535268
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35018) - you deserved it (7787)

On 03/07/2013 at 10:53pm - love - by hoolabaloo (woman) - India (Gujarat)

Today, I was walking through my town when a man on a bicycle rolled up to me and said, "I don't mean this offensively but you're really well-built." I don't know whether he was commenting on my height or comparing me to a shed, but my mother won't stop laughing. FML

#20531997
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26788) - you deserved it (3107)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by apparently-a-shed (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML

#20538966
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45150) - you deserved it (4192)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:17am - love - by lonely girl - United States

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

#20544356
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42677) - you deserved it (6149)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:44am - misc - by fmlman - United States (Wyoming)



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