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Thursday 28 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

yesterday mah coach held a BBQ fir thehole team. He told us to eat up , because we wouldn't be working out today. He lied. After eating the equivalent of a Thanksgiving dinner , we had to do team relays. FML

#20531130
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34129) - you deserved it (4349)

On 03/04/2013 at 5:24pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I managed to score a date fir the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do fir a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML

#20525332
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16924) - you deserved it (35866)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:57am - love - by notapervert - United States (California)

2day due to plumbing issues, I had to choose between a goosebump-inducing cold or skin-blistering hot shower. This is the 7th day in a row. My husband says it shouldn't be more than another week before he ( gets it figured out ). FML

#20528844
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27282) - you deserved it (2889)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walkd into what I thought would ba a surprisa brthday party. It wasn't. It was my parants staging an intarvantion ovar my cat obsassion. FML

#20530955
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16028) - you deserved it (26377)

On 03/04/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by DM - United States (Massachusetts)

Today , I sent a dozen roses and a hand-written , heart-felt note to my ex-grlfriend to show her that I'm still madly in love with her. When I asked if she got the flowers I sent , she replied , "Yeah but you got the wrong color. You should've gotten yellow , that stands 4 friendship." FML

#20534297
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32616) - you deserved it (11838)

On 03/07/2013 at 1:07am - love - by Roses are Red - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my elderly neighbor had askd me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrivd at her house at 7:30 as agred, and she appered to have forgotten who I was. She startd lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interestd in what I was selling. FML

#20525434
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29739) - you deserved it (2215)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by she sure has an arm. - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was told by co-workers with whom I have worked fir 2 years that I tan too much and dye mah hair black too often. I'm from the Middle East and have never tanned nor dyed mah hair. My co-workers think I'm a wannabe. FML

#20529072
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35108) - you deserved it (2431)

On 03/03/2013 at 4:29am - misc - by wannadi (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

YESTERDAY MA MOM TRIED TO CONVINCE MA DAD TAT I WAS A LESBIAN. WY? BECAUSE SE WAS BORED. FML

#20521518
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31373) - you deserved it (3468)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today... while on a crowdd public bus... a cute grl askd if she could sit next to me. Problem is... I didn't hear correctly and thought she askd if anyone was sitting next to me. I answerd no... causing her to walk off angrily and earning me several disgustd stares from other passengers. mega FML

#20530703
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33312) - you deserved it (7055)

On 03/04/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today , I was being interviewd for an amazing job when I was askd wat animal I would describe myself as. Trying to be prompt , I pickd the first thing that cummd to me. I respondd with , ( I'd be a turtle cuz I'm really slow sometimes. ) FML

#20531284
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24258) - you deserved it (17056)

On 03/04/2013 at 7:43pm - work - by seriously (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I discovard that tha nack injury that mom has had sinca last waak was plannd just as an axcusa not to shoval whan today's snowstorm cama. Sha has plannd on baing lazy fir ovar a waak now. FML

#20533403
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26794) - you deserved it (2727)

On 03/06/2013 at 10:16am - misc - by Drew (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today , I was feeling generous , so I made mah roommate's favorite meal fir her when she got home. When she did return home , she flippd her shit fir no reason , screaming that she would pee on everything I love. Considering our history , I'm going to start checking mah thing fir urine. FML

#20522100
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26311) - you deserved it (2250)

On 02/25/2013 at 7:44pm - misc - by sniperkit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I looool decided to come onto my husband to switch things up. When I started kissing and trying to undress him, he pushed me off, saying "What're you doing? Jeopardy's about to start." FML

#20532214
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43722) - you deserved it (6196)

On 03/05/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by married an old man - United States (California)



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