Saturday 23 February 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, as I was about to open a door at school, a student opened it and hit me. As I recovered and was about to open it again, someone else opened the door, hitting me again. Everyone laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28663) - you deserved it (3102)
On 03/02/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Doors Hate Me - United States
Today, my roommate told me that she wants to get some of those "My Family" stickers for her car. She's single and has no children. What does she want to get? One for her, and one for her goldfish. Sadly, this is probably one of the most intelligent things she's said all week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19768) - you deserved it (2175)
On 03/02/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by dumbass for a flatmate - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I heard from my dad for the first time in over six months. It was through Facebook, in a message blaming my brothers and me for his horrible life, and in which he spelled my name wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28072) - you deserved it (1337)
On 02/25/2013 at 2:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, after half a year of flirting back and forth, I went to a fancy party thrown by the guy I really like. He met me at the door and introduced me to everyone as, "the lovely Meghan". I thought I finally had a chance, until he introduced me to his girlfriend of five years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24491) - you deserved it (3745)
On 02/21/2013 at 8:33pm - love - by Meghan (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22437) - you deserved it (2517)
On 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm - misc - by Jan (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boss gave me the task of firing a recently-hired coworker next Friday. This guy spends most of his off-hours working out, probably abusing the fuck out of steroids, and to whom prison is like a bed-and-breakfast. I fear for my life by this point. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22343) - you deserved it (1536)
On 03/01/2013 at 1:22pm - work - by cthulhu help me (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I found that someone had paid off my $16,500 student loan. I was so excited that I called my family and posted on Facebook about how awesome it was. Then I called the loan company and found out that they had just sold my loan to another company; no one had actually paid it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20872) - you deserved it (10884)
On 02/28/2013 at 2:19am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8473) - you deserved it (25800)
On 03/01/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, two days before I'm due to fly out to Russia on my first vacation, I caught my extremely over-protective mother trying to force the family dog to eat my passport. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25573) - you deserved it (1586)
On 02/23/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia (Aluksnes)
Today, I muted the TV just in time to hear my mom yell at my dad about how their sex life is "non-existent". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26546) - you deserved it (3504)
On 02/22/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by PoorMe - United States
Today, after spending almost an hour in the dentist's waiting room, watching other people get called in for their appointments, I finally lost my patience and asked the receptionist what was taking so long. I'd forgotten to sign in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7466) - you deserved it (31218)
On 03/02/2013 at 1:32pm - misc - by oops (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, to avoid a massive delay on our scheduled flight at the airport, we were generously moved to an earlier flight home. An hour later, our new flight had been cancelled and they told us we'd be stuck at the airport overnight. Our original flight took off fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27534) - you deserved it (2816)
On 03/02/2013 at 9:14am - misc - by melyeah - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I noticed my dog chewing on something while on the couch. It looked like a wash rag of some sort, so I grabbed it from my dog. It wasn't until after I picked it up that I noticed it wasn't a wash rag. It was a small, dead bird. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19775) - you deserved it (1670)
On 03/01/2013 at 7:54pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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