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Tuesday 19 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I discovered that when you suddenly get channels that you didn't have before, it doesn't mean there was a glitch and you're getting free TV, it just means that your son called the cable company and had your plan changed so you get every conceivable channel at a hugely increased price. FML

#20515174
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25871) - you deserved it (3249)

On 02/20/2013 at 5:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my bus got held up in traffic, so I arrived home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitched me out, accused me of sleeping around, and grounded me. All this while my brother raged at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity. FML

#20516248
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25791) - you deserved it (1370)

On 02/21/2013 at 1:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a colleague gave me an expensive box of chocolates for my birthday. I was surprised she spent so much on me, but didn't think much of it. Only when I got back home and excitedly opened the box did I realise the chocolates had expired months ago. FML

Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML

#20517185
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19650) - you deserved it (5180)

On 02/22/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave." FML

#20511803
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22370) - you deserved it (1744)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:24am - intimacy - by buxton1 - United States (California)

Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

#20514612
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27686) - you deserved it (3129)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:01am - kids - by Laila - United States

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

#20518354
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24878) - you deserved it (2098)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized that the homeless people I give change to all dress better than I do, including the one that doesn't believe in pants. FML

#20522911
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11148) - you deserved it (19008)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:54am - misc - by keerow (man) - United States

Today, the arts company I work for cancelled our 8 pm sold-out outdoor performance at 7:30 due to rain, and will have to reticket 550 patrons. I'm the only person in the office trained in ticketing. It stopped raining 10 minutes after we cancelled it. FML

#20517422
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23601) - you deserved it (1642)

On 02/22/2013 at 10:48am - work - by Wilf (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while at work, my ex-boyfriend came in. I pretended not to see him, hoping he would just pass on by. No such luck. He stopped to tell me that he was there for orientation. My company hired him. FML

#20519937
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24520) - you deserved it (1880)

On 02/24/2013 at 8:56am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I heard from my dad for the first time in over six months. It was through Facebook, in a message blaming my brothers and me for his horrible life, and in which he spelled my name wrong. FML

#20521678
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28071) - you deserved it (1337)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after half a year of flirting back and forth, I went to a fancy party thrown by the guy I really like. He met me at the door and introduced me to everyone as, "the lovely Meghan". I thought I finally had a chance, until he introduced me to his girlfriend of five years. FML

#20516708
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24489) - you deserved it (3745)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:33pm - love - by Meghan (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

#20523889
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22436) - you deserved it (2517)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm - misc - by Jan (man) - United States (Michigan)



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Monday 17 June 2013

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