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Monday 18 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realizd mah acne is so bad that the Facebook face recognition could recognize all of mah friends in a group photo except me. mega FML

#20516014
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27135) - you deserved it (3475)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:04am - misc - by SadFace (man) - Singapore

Today I realized that the "eyelash curling brush" that my best friend found in my old bathroom drawer was actually a stick used for cleaning food out of my sister's braces . I used that thing for years . FML

#20519962
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23590) - you deserved it (12639)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:30am - misc - by curly_eyelashes - Canada (Ontario)

Today , I was feeling generous , so I made mah roommate's favorite meal fir her when she got home. When she did return home , she flippd her shit fir no reason , screaming that she would pee on everything I love. Considering our history , I'm going to start checking mah thing fir urine. FML

#20522100
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26311) - you deserved it (2250)

On 02/25/2013 at 7:44pm - misc - by sniperkit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's officehile she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulld the pen out during a meeting. My colleague lookd at me, horrifid. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazond on it. I'm a man. FML

#20516811
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6958) - you deserved it (45503)

On 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a new roommate after having a horrible relationship with the previou one. She seemd nice at first, until our first night together. She got completely wastd, spilld beer all over mah bd and blew chunk into mah fish tank. FML

#20513351
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29404) - you deserved it (2663)

On 02/19/2013 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I purchasd a box of grl scout cookias from a coworkar. I wantd to sava tham 4 latar at homa, so I placd tham on mah dask an than haadd to a maating. Whan I raturnd, thara was an ampty box sitting thara with a post-it nota saying, ( Thanks! ) Nobody will own up to it. FML

#20512675
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25457) - you deserved it (5780)

On 02/18/2013 at 8:49pm - work - by erockinthesuburb (man) - United States

Today, my bus got held up in traffic, so I arrivd home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitchd me out, accusd me of sleeping around, and groundd me. All this while my brother ragd at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity. FML

#20516248
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33616) - you deserved it (2368)

On 02/21/2013 at 1:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today , I walkad into mah naar pitch-black bathroom and saw a parson staring back at ma . I woka mahhola family up with mah scraams . Tha parson was mah raflaction . raal FML

#20517081
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12903) - you deserved it (32101)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by shelbylove115 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I locked my keys in my truck. The good news is that I have a spare set in my house. The bad news is that my house key is on the same keyring as my locked-in truck key. big fat FML

#20521895
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25128) - you deserved it (9125)

On 02/25/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by burning balls of fuck this - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a two dollar raise. Unfortunately, I recently accepted a transfer to a job on the other side of the state to wat was, at the time, a more lucrative position. I can't cancel it, so now I get to move into a pay cut. FML

#20514453
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22529) - you deserved it (5637)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:33am - work - by MeanGina (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today , I was so exhausted that I slept through my phone ringing , an later my doorbell ringing. My psycho mom freaked out , an thinking I was in trouble , broke a window to get inside. This all happened before 7am. FML

#20515001
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32565) - you deserved it (2431)

On 02/20/2013 at 3:33pm - misc - by annoyed - United States (Arizona)

Today, I came home to find that while my husband an children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil an barfed everything up on the couch. FML

#20521278
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28212) - you deserved it (4113)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:25am - animals - by Sammy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, mah son broke his handhen he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could . FML

#20520875
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27458) - you deserved it (3289)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by why the fuck would you do that - United States (Arizona)



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