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Sunday 17 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got locked out of my car for an hour in frigid weather at a busy gas station. Every time I tried to use the key, the alarm went off and the locks wouldn't work. The car company claims they've never heard of this happening. I just bought it last week after taking out a 5 year loan. FML

#20513495
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26082) - you deserved it (2337)

On 02/19/2013 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom refused to sign me up for a CPR class, reasoning that if I was ever put in a situation where a person was choking, I could save them using my "common sense" and "intellect". I need the class to graduate. FML

#20515292
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32260) - you deserved it (2536)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:32pm - misc - by blob - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was talking to an attractive guy, but I was so nervous that I got tongue-tied and then blurted out, "Stupid autocorrect." FML

#20501923
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17587) - you deserved it (29442)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:57am - misc - by tongue tied - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

#20502853
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11285) - you deserved it (36025)

On 02/11/2013 at 9:30pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to take a jog in an area we never been before. We then got lost. She actually thought that the tattoo on her arm of an open compass with north, east, south, and west would help us. FML

#20510517
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33840) - you deserved it (5970)

On 02/17/2013 at 9:27am - misc - by omgstuupidd - United States (New York)

Today, I walked 6 miles to see my girlfriend. After 5 and a half miles, she broke up with me because I never visit her. FML

#20517252
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35363) - you deserved it (3507)

On 02/22/2013 at 5:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my very conservative mom met my girlfriend, who recently shaved her head in support of her best friend, who has cancer. My girlfriend looks beautiful and feminine even with her still very short hair. My mom, however, keeps insisting that I'm dating "a confused transgender". FML

#20519321
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37391) - you deserved it (2453)

On 02/23/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the guy I like and his friend came home with me to work on a project. I opened my front door and my mum was at the top of the stairs completely naked, bent over, drying her hair with the hairdryer. It took a few moments for her to realise we were there. FML

#20504733
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33612) - you deserved it (2860)

On 02/13/2013 at 6:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (North Ayrshire)

Today, I finally confronted my bully. Too bad it was at my high school reunion and he beat the shit out of me. FML

#20505236
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33949) - you deserved it (5203)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the market to buy some groceries. Before I got even half-way home, a guy stormed toward me, pulled what looked like a knife, and chased me around the block while screaming that he'd kill me for sleeping with his wife. Nope, still a 15-year-old virgin here. FML

#20506765
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36943) - you deserved it (2343)

On 02/14/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia (Ash Sharqiyah)

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML

#20516811
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7814) - you deserved it (48372)

On 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

#20505342
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42044) - you deserved it (4684)

On 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized my acne is so bad that the Facebook face recognition could recognize all of my friends in a group photo except me. FML

#20516014
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28791) - you deserved it (3659)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:04am - misc - by SadFace (man) - Singapore



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