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Saturday 16 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Yesterday Two Days Before I'm Due To Fly Out To Russia On Mah First Vacation, I Caught Mah Extremely Over-protective Mother Trying To Force The Family Dog To Eat Mah Passport. Mega FML

#20518765
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31168) - you deserved it (1962)

On 02/23/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia (Aluksnes)

I had mah grlfriend over 4 dinner with mah family. My father had dressed up as a grl 4 a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and mah grlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. big fat FML

#20503190
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27876) - you deserved it (3214)

On 02/12/2013 at 12:55am - love - by BadLuckCarson - United States (Iowa)

2day I've been single 4 so long grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML

#20513781
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26258) - you deserved it (3350)

On 02/19/2013 at 6:07pm - love - by Forever alone Guy - Australia (Victoria)

Today I checkd out a "confessions" page fir university. The first confession was from a guy who whackd off in a campus restroom then usd a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. looool FML

#20501884
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36648) - you deserved it (3100)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today a cute girl asked if my dog was available for a date on Valentine's Day. Thinking I was in luck I asked if I should come along. She said no. My dog has better game than I do. mega FML

#20503854
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26119) - you deserved it (6187)

On 02/12/2013 at 4:50pm - animals - by Doggotmytongue - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking to mah dorm room whila it was snowing haavily. I saw a girl in a whaalchair trying to gat up a slippary inclina. Baing a good parson, I askad to halp. I'm a pratty waak guy, and I couldn't push har up. Sha whaalad away crying bacausa sha thought sha was fat. FML

#20504485
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36500) - you deserved it (5558)

On 02/12/2013 at 11:57pm - misc - by IMadeAHandicappedPersonCry - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother looool took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave."

#20511803
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30202) - you deserved it (2867)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:24am - intimacy - by buxton1 - United States (California)

Today, Mah Mum Got The Idea Of Switching To A Different Dishwashing Detergent. The New One Is So Strong That It Coats All The Dishes In A Nauseating Perfume-like Smell. It's So Pungent That It Gets Absorbd Into Everything We Eat Or Drink. She's Determind To Use Up The Entire Bottle. Mega FML

#20508218
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25814) - you deserved it (2060)

On 02/15/2013 at 1:50pm - health - by selena5112 (woman) - Norway (Troms)

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling lyk I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know yur weakness," and left. FML

#20518354
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30451) - you deserved it (2982)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today , Working As A Waitress , I Was Asked By A Customer , Yet Again , How Mah Babby Was Doing. I Don't Have A Baby , But I Do Look Very Similar To Mah 25-year-old Coworker , Who's A New Mom. People Confuse Us All The Time. Unfortunately , Mah Crush , Who Was Standing Nearby , Doesn't Know That. FML

#20504501
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29346) - you deserved it (2434)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

yesterday mah son asked me if the short films I write r fir little kids or fir adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was fir adults. He looool went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

#20514612
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35691) - you deserved it (4809)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:01am - kids - by Laila - United States

Today After Half A Year Of Flirting Back And Forth I Went To A Fancy Party Thrown By The Guy I Really Like. He Met Me At The Door And Introduced Me To Everyone As "the Lovely Meghan". I Thought I Finally Had A Chance Until He Introduced Me To His Girlfriend Of Five Years.

#20516708
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31655) - you deserved it (5324)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:33pm - love - by Meghan (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I heard a commercial fir a great apartment complex. Includes food, snacks, entertainment, activities, cleaning service, an transportation services if u cannot drive yourself. I was really excited until the end when they repeated the name; too bad perfect place is a senior center. FML

#20514672
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23441) - you deserved it (7728)

On 02/20/2013 at 8:54am - misc - by kryan012 - United States (Georgia)



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