Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Saturday 16 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML

#20513781
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26129) - you deserved it (3336)

On 02/19/2013 at 6:07pm - love - by Forever alone Guy - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I checked out a "confessions" page for my university. The first confession was from a guy who whacked off in a campus restroom then used a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. FML

#20501884
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34954) - you deserved it (2941)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, a cute girl asked if my dog was available for a date on Valentine's Day. Thinking I was in luck, I asked if I should come along. She said no. My dog has better game than I do. FML

#20503854
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25948) - you deserved it (6163)

On 02/12/2013 at 4:50pm - animals - by Doggotmytongue - United States (Illinois)

Today, while at the store with my mom, we ran into the girl I recently confessed to being interested in. My mom decided to shout, "IS THAT HER?! IS THAT THE GIRL YOU LIKE?!" Embarrassed, I desperately told her to be quiet. She grounded me for being "rude" to her. FML

#20508609
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34116) - you deserved it (3257)

On 02/15/2013 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML

#20517185
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24519) - you deserved it (7243)

On 02/22/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking to my dorm room while it was snowing heavily. I saw a girl in a wheelchair trying to get up a slippery incline. Being a good person, I asked to help. I'm a pretty weak guy, and I couldn't push her up. She wheeled away crying because she thought she was fat. FML

#20504485
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35168) - you deserved it (5401)

On 02/12/2013 at 11:57pm - misc - by IMadeAHandicappedPersonCry - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave." FML

#20511803
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30022) - you deserved it (2849)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:24am - intimacy - by buxton1 - United States (California)

Today, my mum got the idea of switching to a different dishwashing detergent. The new one is so strong that it coats all the dishes in a nauseating perfume-like smell. It's so pungent that it gets absorbed into everything we eat or drink. She's determined to use up the entire bottle. FML

#20508218
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24192) - you deserved it (1921)

On 02/15/2013 at 1:50pm - health - by selena5112 (woman) - Norway (Troms)

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

#20518354
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30281) - you deserved it (2970)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, working as a waitress, I was asked by a customer, yet again, how my baby was doing. I don't have a baby, but I do look very similar to my 25-year-old coworker, who's a new mom. People confuse us all the time. Unfortunately, my crush, who was standing nearby, doesn't know that. FML

#20504501
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28021) - you deserved it (2332)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

#20514612
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34270) - you deserved it (4668)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:01am - kids - by Laila - United States

Today, I heard a commercial for a great apartment complex. Includes food, snacks, entertainment, activities, cleaning service, and transportation services if you cannot drive yourself. I was really excited until the end when they repeated the name; too bad my perfect place is a senior center. FML

#20514672
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23259) - you deserved it (7700)

On 02/20/2013 at 8:54am - misc - by kryan012 - United States (Georgia)

Today, after half a year of flirting back and forth, I went to a fancy party thrown by the guy I really like. He met me at the door and introduced me to everyone as, "the lovely Meghan". I thought I finally had a chance, until he introduced me to his girlfriend of five years. FML

#20516708
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30426) - you deserved it (5173)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:33pm - love - by Meghan (woman) - United States (Indiana)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: