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Saturday 16 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after being in the hospital fir 2 weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, mah girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me an send me straight back home. real FML

#20511268
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35666) - you deserved it (2602)

On 02/17/2013 at 8:28pm - love - by noname - United States (New York)

2day ma mom callad ma a "aartlas bitc" fir aating ta last Hot Pockat . Tis is coming from a womano, just last waak, fakad aving cancar to gat out of a spaading tickat . FML

#20511194
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35349) - you deserved it (2193)

On 02/17/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by DontGetSlapped - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's officehile she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulld the pen out during a meeting. My colleague lookd at me, horrifid. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazond on it. I'm a man. FML

#20516811
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6958) - you deserved it (45503)

On 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a new roommate after having a horrible relationship with the previou one. She seemd nice at first, until our first night together. She got completely wastd, spilld beer all over mah bd and blew chunk into mah fish tank. FML

#20513351
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29404) - you deserved it (2663)

On 02/19/2013 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside!! Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see mah dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard!! He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma!! FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28604) - you deserved it (6008)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I purchasd a box of grl scout cookias from a coworkar. I wantd to sava tham 4 latar at homa, so I placd tham on mah dask an than haadd to a maating. Whan I raturnd, thara was an ampty box sitting thara with a post-it nota saying, ( Thanks! ) Nobody will own up to it. FML

#20512675
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25457) - you deserved it (5780)

On 02/18/2013 at 8:49pm - work - by erockinthesuburb (man) - United States

Today, my bus got held up in traffic, so I arrivd home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitchd me out, accusd me of sleeping around, and groundd me. All this while my brother ragd at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity. FML

#20516248
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33616) - you deserved it (2368)

On 02/21/2013 at 1:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today , I walkad into mah naar pitch-black bathroom and saw a parson staring back at ma . I woka mahhola family up with mah scraams . Tha parson was mah raflaction . raal FML

#20517081
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12903) - you deserved it (32101)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by shelbylove115 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a two dollar raise. Unfortunately, I recently accepted a transfer to a job on the other side of the state to wat was, at the time, a more lucrative position. I can't cancel it, so now I get to move into a pay cut. FML

#20514453
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22529) - you deserved it (5637)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:33am - work - by MeanGina (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today , I was so exhausted that I slept through my phone ringing , an later my doorbell ringing. My psycho mom freaked out , an thinking I was in trouble , broke a window to get inside. This all happened before 7am. FML

#20515001
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32565) - you deserved it (2431)

On 02/20/2013 at 3:33pm - misc - by annoyed - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realizd that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air looool freshener in my grlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my grlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. real FML

#20503125
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40668) - you deserved it (8141)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walkd in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I askd him wat the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion looool film calld "All Dressd Up with Nowhere to go." fat FML

#20510302
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38832) - you deserved it (9294)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, l took mah new boyfriend to the placehere mah ex and I used to hook up, only to find out that mah ex looool and his new girl had the same idea.

#20517120
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16955) - you deserved it (52665)

On 02/22/2013 at 1:12am - intimacy - by wrongplacewrongtime - United States (Texas)



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