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Thursday 14 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish bi-product. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML

#20502144
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35257) - you deserved it (4265)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:48am - animals - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, the people living below me have been blasting their music so loudly that I can hear every word as clear as day. The people next door think it's my music and feel the need to bang on the wall and blast their music just as loudly in revenge. I have two very important exams tomorrow. FML

#20515010
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37203) - you deserved it (3172)

On 02/20/2013 at 3:40pm - misc - by Ughh! - France

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

#20512419
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34193) - you deserved it (3718)

On 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm - work - by ari (woman) - United States

Today, after being together for only 2 weeks, my boyfriend got me a year's gym membership for my birthday in a card that said, "So u can b hott! Luv u!" FML

#20513755
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31890) - you deserved it (5962)

On 02/19/2013 at 5:47pm - love - by katwingz (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out my birthday is the same day as his, and he thinks we are twins who were separated at birth. FML

#20505216
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43864) - you deserved it (3356)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by okay then (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML

#20511941
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39681) - you deserved it (3505)

On 02/18/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was making lunch, when my two-year-old ran up to me and handed me an empty bottle of baby powder. I soon realized I'd be spending the rest of my day cleaning the entire house. FML

Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

#20513159
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47029) - you deserved it (9991)

On 02/19/2013 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, as my lame excuse to not give a guy I met at a club my phone number, I told him I didn't have a cell phone. Guess what I checked when he asked me what time it was a few minutes later. FML

#20512812
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8708) - you deserved it (52652)

On 02/18/2013 at 10:21pm - misc - by hhhhhhhpeterwut - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML

#20503942
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35104) - you deserved it (2895)

On 02/12/2013 at 6:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I've been living in Kenya in a nasty apartment for so long that when I looked down into my drink and saw a dead fly, I just picked it out and continued drinking. FML

#20505207
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33206) - you deserved it (5374)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by kenyaliving - Kenya

Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML

#20511747
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48907) - you deserved it (5359)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I felt like letting my ex know just how I felt about all the bullshit he put me through. I dug up his number, typed a long paragraph with lots of pain and emotion, and sent it. The reply: "No wonder he broke up with you." Thanks, whoever has that number now. FML

#20512366
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12704) - you deserved it (44331)

On 02/18/2013 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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