Monday 11 February 2013 
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Today, I worked up my courage and took an elevator for the first time in my life. Unfortunately, it was also my first time getting trapped for several hours in an elevator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29803) - you deserved it (2647)
On 02/15/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27714) - you deserved it (6219)
On 02/15/2013 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by Acolyte of the Bacon God (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I finished my shift at the nursing home. There was too much snow on the roads, so most of us had to stay overnight. Not only did I not get to go home, I also got stuck sleeping in the same bed that a resident had died in the night before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25638) - you deserved it (1322)
On 02/13/2013 at 12:20pm - work - by death bed (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I finally confronted my bully. Too bad it was at my high school reunion and he beat the shit out of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26821) - you deserved it (3496)
On 02/13/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to yet again explain to the guy I live with that just because you can't see dirt, it doesn't mean it's clean. And so letting his dog lick the plates is NOT the same thing as washing up. He won't listen to me, and he uses my plates. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23217) - you deserved it (2536)
On 02/14/2013 at 8:08pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33747) - you deserved it (3262)
On 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was talking to an attractive guy, but I was so nervous that I got tongue-tied and then blurted out, "Stupid autocorrect." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13151) - you deserved it (19127)
On 02/11/2013 at 3:57am - misc - by tongue tied - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, for the second time in two months, the person in the bathroom stall next to me commented on how loud I pee. This time, she made racehorse noises. I'm now too self-conscious to pee in public again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20425) - you deserved it (1789)
On 02/12/2013 at 5:58pm - misc - by likearacehorse (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my hairdresser apologised because he couldn't distinguish the hair from the back of my head from the hair from my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19303) - you deserved it (6166) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/14/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Edgarillo - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8514) - you deserved it (24169)
On 02/18/2013 at 2:11pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to the market to buy some groceries. Before I got even half-way home, a guy stormed toward me, pulled what looked like a knife, and chased me around the block while screaming that he'd kill me for sleeping with his wife. Nope, still a 15-year-old virgin here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28212) - you deserved it (1299)
On 02/14/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia (Ash Sharqiyah)
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to take a jog in an area we never been before. We then got lost. She actually thought that the tattoo on her arm of an open compass with north, east, south, and west would help us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26309) - you deserved it (5086)
On 02/17/2013 at 9:27am - misc - by omgstuupidd - United States (New York)
Today, my mom called me a "heartless bitch" for eating the last Hot Pocket. This is coming from a woman who, just last week, faked having cancer to get out of a speeding ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27646) - you deserved it (257)
On 02/17/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by DontGetSlapped - United States (Arkansas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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