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Thursday 7 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today... I felt frisky... so I did my hair and puttd on make-up and some lingerie. I walkd into the living room...here my husband was playing a video game. He glancd up... said... "Oh... fir fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes fir him to reach a save-game point. FML

#20506870
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37654) - you deserved it (8310)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, A Girl Cummed Up To Me On The Street And Said, "You Have Like No Swag, Bro." Feeling Clever, I Said, "At Least I Have A High School Education." She Then Took Out Her Work ID, Showing Me That She Was A Surgeon, Flipped Me Off, Then Walked Away Saying, "This Is Totally Going On Facebook." FML

#20502122
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31029) - you deserved it (28127)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist . He broke a whole stack of plates overflowed the bathtub let the dog loose and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down . My son is 17 . FML

#20495428
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31257) - you deserved it (33069)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, mah fiancé told me that it would be okay with him if I got plastic surgery to make mah boobs larger . It would also be okay with him if I didn't get the surgery, but he would call off our engagement and never talk to me again . fat FML

#20499439
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53132) - you deserved it (6128)

On 02/09/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today... my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started sereching for the problem... I couldn't fine it. Luckily I was able to fine a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight yeres. big fat FML

#20493182
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68911) - you deserved it (3934)

On 02/04/2013 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by hamandegger (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after trying to convince my grlfriend to have sex fir almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML

#20494070
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23784) - you deserved it (35396)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today , after much coaxing , I finally got mah roommate to loosen up and have a couple of beers with me and mah friends. It was only later in the evening that he admitted the real reason he hadn't wanted to drink: he's an alcoholic and had been sober for six months , until now. FML

#20499970
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15897) - you deserved it (55683)

On 02/09/2013 at 6:26pm - misc - by mhmm... cumsquats (man) - Belgium (Brabant)

Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was . Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub . I somehow managd to unhook her bra . FML

#20498998
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32309) - you deserved it (8191)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, It's My Boyfriend's Birthday. He Really Likes Legend Of Zelda, So I Putted On A Link Hat, Took My Cloths Off, An Waited 4 Him At His Place. He Came Home With A Hooker. FML

#20502217
175 comments

Today, I watchd The Passion of the Christ with mah grlfriend . She kept scoffing at what she calld the "historical inaccuracies", an actually trid to convince me that Hitler killd Jesus . When I correctd her, she lookd at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane . FML

#20498635
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33367) - you deserved it (4826)

On 02/08/2013 at 7:44pm - love - by and she doesn't even give bjs (man) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? ( If your on yur period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no. ) FML

#20496085
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20777) - you deserved it (38221)

On 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by dab1230 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out I'm pragnant. It's okay, I know who tha fathar is: my ax-boyfriand, who movd to Japan last waak. FML

Yesterday... my boyfriend called me a freak 4 wanting to ave sex 4 a second nigt in a row. looool FML

#20495286
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49307) - you deserved it (5682)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by frustrated! (woman) - United States



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